Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Rollercoaster ride
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
I was the bullet in the relationship
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Spontaneous
Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Top comments
Idonebeenhad 17
Had sex, doesn't matter
guitarbeast 22
Doesn't matter, had sex
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Comments (178)
andiiturtle 0
That makes two of us :
DocBastard 40
This tells me one of two things: A) You're way too ugly to **** sober B) You're only pursuing drunk girls Since there is someone for everyone, it obviously isn't A. So since it's B, maybe you should change your idiotic behaviour.
silentbutfunny 0
C) Both A & B
atomicbaboon 0
if the answer is c, it is not a or b. therefore the answer cannot be c
grannygruber 6
Quit picking women up in bars then!
soulistous 0
Well that means you party hard not good or bad might want to try AA
inlove72 11
Doesn't matter had sex!
wes04ram1500 6
The downside of this being???
DocBastard 40
...waking up next to someone who doesn't like you, doesn't remember you, doesn't know your name. ...never having a meaningful sexual relationship. ...picking up various STDs. ...only having sex with women who are too intoxicated to say no. Other than that, I can't think of anything.
silentbutfunny 0
The 1st one doesn't sound to bad.... Hell all of them don't sound bad except std's. Which is another story in its own
silent_bride 5
...rape?
atomicbaboon 0
pssh, those are all just side effects. your forgot the advantage to this: sex
khaya 9
Go hook up at a AA meeting.
Sumo69 9
Date rape much
Enslaved 38
They weren't sober..... Or were they passed out drunk? Few drinks difference. Ex: that girls need to learn they're drinking limits.
Enslaved 38
*their (whoops)
perdix 31
My experience is that there are girls that really want sex, but just don't want anyone to know that they want it. They get "drunk" on the tiniest amount so they can Blame It On the Alcohol.
silent_bride 5
#47: No. Women (and men, for that matter) have every right to drink as much as they damn well want to. If I choose to go to a bar and drink until I can't stand on my own, I have that right. And I also have the right to be drunk and not have sex. Blaming women for "not knowing their limits" is pretty disgusting - the OP, presumably the (more) sober one, needs to take responsibility for not having sex with women who are intoxicated... whether slightly tipsy or absolutely wasted.
rockerlove2013 6
Was it good??