Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
WTF is wrong with YOU?! Is it young? Yes, but who the hell are you to pass judgments on people just because of their age? For all you know they have been dating since they were 11. Just because YOU aren't ready for marriage doesn't mean other people aren't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married at 21.
protooler31 0
why is everyone so surprised/shocked at someone being married at 21? Maybe he knocked her up, and did the right thing as a man and married her. I mean, getting married at 21 is certainly not nearly as controversial as marrying off your 15-16-17 year old daughters as was done in centuries past...
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Comments (272)
CodeMan16 0
does anyone else think this might be two different sides of the same story(referencing earlier fml with the sleep punching)
knightknight 0
did she have an interview today?
littlebrittle77 0
you should never get married before 28
EireGoBragh 1
And you shouldn't make generalizations and assume that anybody but you gives a shit about them. Plenty of people get married that young and are fine with it. It's this ******* American believe that you can't get married until you've done absolutely everything else in the world first and made yourself so "self-sufficient" you can never really have a cooperative relationship with anyone.
Escapist28 0
The fact that you're married at age 21 (which I didn't realize was so controversial) or are still afraid of the dark pales in comparison to the fact that your wife jumped out of the dark to scare you and your first instinct was to punch her in the face. I realize it sucks when you're the one who was punched, but this honestly made me laugh.
ohnoyouDINT 0
What would YOU do if someone jumped out at you in the dark? Curl into a little ball and cry?
Chibi_Hiroko 18
No. I'd scream like a little bitch. THEN I'd curl up and cry
blahblahblah43 0
I embrace the dark! And I'm a 13 year old girl!
Dalarsco 0
#185 is an emo, #201 needs to look up "******", and everyone who voted YDI needs to read past the first sentence. He clearly didn't know it was his wife. It was a reflex from someone jumping out at him.
ILoveSoda 0
Boom Headshot.
Bella_999 0
your married at 21? wow...
FuzzyWalnuts 0
YDI for having a wife at the age of 21. White trash ******.
RandomBlonde 0
I know we're all entitled to opinions and what not, but seriously? Who CARES if they got married at 21? We dont exactly know them do we?!?! It's not like they've laid their entire life story in front of us. If you think getting married at 21 is too young, then deal with it. Its not like YOU'RE the one whos married is it? My mom got married when she was 22, and Oh My God my parents are STILL together, in love, and happily married. SO would y'all PLEASE shut up with the "Your white trash cuz you married early." or "YDI because you got her pregnant". Its none of your business when or how or WHAT AGE they got married. The point is that he's a 21yr old guy who got spooked by the dark...and accidentally injured his wife. (Oh, and on a side note, for all you know his wife could be 25 or older.)