CaptBlood
Action - Reaction
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
RomanceFail
Crestwood, United States
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Time for a divorce, I think
Edison, United States
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
wray16
United States
Love hurts
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
randomguy
Saylorsburg, United States
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
good_aim
Los Angeles, United States
Heavy sleeper
Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML
Anonymous
London, United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Anonymous
Wakey Wakey!
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
psychworker
United States
Glad to help out
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Rude awakening
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Top comments
Yemi Adeshokan 4
Don't listen to the movies. NEVER INTERRUPT A PERSON'S SLEEP!
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Comments (2)
Yemi Adeshokan 4
Don't listen to the movies. NEVER INTERRUPT A PERSON'S SLEEP!
cuz803 46
Was there some previous bad blood that we don't know about?! Cause damn! If you did nothing wrong prior give her a tastse of her own medicine (no I don't mean punch her back...). If she ever wants to kiss you or wants pleasure tell her she can't get any until she receives spankings for being naughty and violent.