Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
WTF is wrong with YOU?! Is it young? Yes, but who the hell are you to pass judgments on people just because of their age? For all you know they have been dating since they were 11. Just because YOU aren't ready for marriage doesn't mean other people aren't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married at 21.
protooler31 0
why is everyone so surprised/shocked at someone being married at 21? Maybe he knocked her up, and did the right thing as a man and married her. I mean, getting married at 21 is certainly not nearly as controversial as marrying off your 15-16-17 year old daughters as was done in centuries past...
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Comments (272)
Qwertzuiop_fml 1
YDI for being married at 21. Maybe you should have started your adult life by letting your child phobias behind, instead of getting married...
JPaulino 0
that's ******* halariouse FUL
xXmoeXx 0
ouch... say sorry!
sleepyhungry93 0
OP being afraid of the dark is a reasonable-ish fear. and punching ur wife as reflex is okay because defensive reflexs are hard to control. trust me i know. the moment u hit ur wife on purpose tho is wen u need to eat shit and die. just sayin. also if u are a jumpy person like that ur wife should know better. none of my friends mess with me bcuz i react violently when i get scared. SDI.
baglady_79 0
why the **** are you married if you're only 21? that's ******.
TheZarola 10
What's the big deal? At age 18, people can do whatever they want. It's not ****** at all. In fact, I'd LIKE to be married by age 21. FYL, OP.
weissesengel 0
21 aint young 2 get married...
kathrynclw 0
haha the dark harbors some scary shit... :)
shaneSS33 0
Thats ******* hilarious
aaronruark 2
accidentally.hit her right wink lol that suck you won't hear the end of this for awhile
astriofou 0
i LOVE the dark i hate spiders... im turning 22 next month.. i also LOVE puppies :3