Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
XSabinX 3
I personally try and go for more of a Shatner thing while laying pipe.
crazytwinsmom 25
I hope you're being sarcastic. I would be laughing too much at that to continue.
middlenamefrank 8
You had to LEARN that?
gemstone586 12
ok, maybe I'm slow, but fml as a whole makes a lot more sense now.... y'all are all a bunch of nerds! no wonder the grammar Nazis and constant technicalities. no hate, tho. my husband's a huge nerd. I love nerds. :) but Klingon in bed would be pretty bad...
Dthsapprntc 23
Hey! I resemble that remark.
apu_nahasapeemap 10
93, grammar Nazis perform a vital service. They do what they can to rid the Internet of misspellings, malapropisms and solecisms, often in a humorous or sarcastic manner. The interwebs would be an even more annoying place without them.
gemstone586 12
I give up. y'all are hopeless! I thought the world had become an accepting place. I see that's a huge misconception.
Dthsapprntc 23
I revel in my hopelessness, it is glorious. I am possibly to overtired to be posting comment at this time.
Raesin 21
You don't make sense. I thought 'y'all' was redneck slang for 'You're all' as in, 'You are all'. Why are you repeating yourself?
hunts19ketchup 23
Y'all is you all. It's also not 'redneck slang'.
pandalover69 26
It's more of a Texas term but honestly I've lived in Texas my whole life and I can count on 1 hand how many times I've used that term. I've always thought it was just a little too improper, kind of like the "word" ain't.
noelleflores97 12
Speak Elvish next time. Klingon can sound scary sometimes
sig4life 18
Just wanted to say you are a dumbass.
Ram_Rod5 6
No man should ever speak Klingon during sex. Like.... Ever.
Curlytwirly22 17
I'm surprised you even got her to 'get with you' in the first place haha I guess we both have a lot to learn am I right ?
CanyonRose 16
I woulda probably laughed in this situation but I think it's awesome some people know how to speak Klingon. Or Vulcan for that matter. If they claim to be a 'nerd', they aren't. If they keep it on the downlow but know what you're talking about when you mention it they're really interested.
buttcramp 21
I'm female, 21 and from Houston.. I've seen tons of fake nerd girls and real nerd girls.. I myself liked the star trek movies but during sex?
spekledworf 18
I love cars but I don't want a man to go "vroom vroom! " in the bedroom. That's my two cents