Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
how_to_implode 17
Before you bring new stuff into the bedroom (fictional languages included) it's usually best to consult your lover.
elusiveshame 22
I'm surprised someone allowed you to stick your penis in them...
154rct 7
Why would you try?
TheyCallMeDamien 17
If she didn't start the conversation.....
niklea 2
She's obviously a fake!, Klingon can be very sexy to a true geek girl. Keep looking, she's out there!!!
katt_is_here 24
What...no. Just....no. No. Klingon in bed? Are you ******* joking? I seriously hope this FML is just an elaborate troll.
insaneblackninja 3
Dude... You never go full Klingon...
megatherium 4
A female friend of mine speaks Klingon during sex. Most of her boyfriends have not appreciated it much.
Zebediabolical 43
Maybe she's a Star Wars nerd not Star Trek. Try something in Wookie next time.
plagiarismo 16
Look on the bright side: you had sex with a girl that DIDN'T get turned on by it.