Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
TecheyTim 14
Figure that out all on you're own, did ya'??
Locoluis 15
Klingon is the opposite of French when it comes to sexiness. When you speak Klingon to a girl while you're having sex, it sounds like you're brutally raping her. No matter how much of a nerd you are, you still need to be delicate, tender and loving to a girl.
Sydneyhehe 6
That right there, is dead on. Good job
StellaNox 16
tlhIngan maH :-D!! I cant decide whats more attractive - Klingon or wookiee :-/
foxfur 25
sadly all I can think of is how much I wish I could speak Klingon...
Ray_of_midnight 22
You know, I think if a woman spoke Klingon to me during sex I'd find that a turn-on.
ikissedoldgreg 1
I wish someone would speak Klingon to me.
AbbyL 7
I didn't know anyone COULD speak Klingon! I can't pronounce half the words in Star Treck
MadBroxx 2
I'd pretty much just ****** on the spot, myself. But only if it's correctly spoken-- if I'm not covered in spit speckles, you're probably pronouncing your Klingon wrong.
hockey7468 7
Dude, listen: I'm a nerd(I mean just look at my profile pic) But you NEVER and I mean NEVER! Go that far
MissHannaBanana 6
I wouldn't mind... I love Star Trek
anthony99 14
What's the Klingon translation for "you're gonna die a virgin"?