Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (271)
strangeite 4
You can be nerdy and not be turned on by Klingon dirty talk
fshackleferd 5
Heres a tip. NEVER speak klingon during sex, Unless she does first... Then never, EVER let her go.
brandy76 9
That's absolutely correct! I only wish my husband knew klingon...
TheCerealKiller 24
I'd be ready for that anytime.
Sweetpea22 14
"Claims to be." Wow OP, I am a nerd girl, and I hate Star Trek. Guess in your mind, I am a poser.
Axel5238 29
While a lot of people find humor as a turn on that doesn't mean they want to hear it during sex. For some it does spoil the mood if done during. Just because they find something about your humor endearing doesn't mean they want to hear it during sex.
Selkhe 10
"Claims to be"? Oh look, another man acting as if they get to have a say or judgement over how much of an "official nerd" a girl gets to be. Oh, and YDI, it's literally not her part at all, you're just an idiot. Klingon, really?
JCal585 8
Come on man..
martin8337 35
As if Klingon was actually a real language.
brandy76 9
Klingon is indeed considered an actual language..
martin8337 35
Yeah, right, #153, Spanish, German, French, Italian, Latin , ect are real languages m ot like the made up Klingon lingo. Show me a Klingon that speaks a human made up language and I will eat my words.
5destroyer35 20
All languages are "made up." They have all been created as an organized method of communication. How is Klingon not that?
Snorlax_Snarf 10
#209 You didn't need to be a dick about it. It technically IS a language, all languages are made up. A language is, by definition, something someone uses to communicate to another. A lot of Star Trek-lovers actually speak Klingon.
dquirke 7
I am a girl and I would find that amazing :3
sadpanda888 12
Dude, that actually is really hott. Wrong nerd girl!