Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
Opheliae 22
Congratulations on being the first Klingon-speaking nerd to ever have sex.
Queen_of_Night 20
Oh ye of little knowledge. Nerds get SO MUCH ACTION. You just don't know. I can't count the number of times I caught people in odd places of the hotel during the local anime/Star Teck/Comic/Dr. Who conventions.
Opheliae 22
I was being sarcastic. But yeah, hook ups definitely go down at Youmacon; the mixture of horny geeks and rave music just gets everybody all hot and bothered. Thankfully it doesn't happen in my hotel room.
Huntard765 3
You just had the wrong girl that's all.. qamuSHa' :)
shygal13 5
That would be ******* sexy
Queen_of_Night 20
Klingon? How is that sexy? Next time whisper to her in Elvish. OMG... I need a man that can speak Elvish...
brandy76 9
That's awesome! Klingon is a difficult language to learn and it's pretty freaking sexy!
echo_emmilie 7
Howard Wolowitz?
beyamia 6
If my boyfriend started speaking Klingon during sex, I would feel like I would have to reconsider my life choices
apu_nahasapeemap 10
The Klingons are a passionate people. yln muSHa'ghach
pooldude 24
What is the matter with you man??
mirrorfrost 11
That sounds awesome actually. And I'm a girl. :D