Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
To boldly go where no man has gone before
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Blown job
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Beam me up!
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
There must be more to this story
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
References
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
The Force
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Let me Slytherin
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
Coolaidegirl 18
I am a HUGE star trek nerd and not even.I would go that far,
mattyiscool123 26
I...I don't know what that is.
bubblyhayley 16
why why why!!!!
crazytwinsmom 25
Have you learned nothing from Big Bang Theory?
emeraldmaz 9
Now, that's the sort of thing you discuss before you do it.
broken20 2
a true nerd like myself would love that! WTF!!!!
Dthsapprntc 23
A true nerd would be inteligent enough to realize that nerds have a wide variety of interests, and Star Trek is not neceseraly one of them. You sir, until proven otherwise, will be labeled as a geek.
Grauncho 27
You forgot to perform the Klingon mating ritual. That's why it didn't work.
ahh_rats 15
I'm assuming this wasn't discussed during "the talk"
yanoifeelhorrid 5
Okay so don't bash all girls, my ex-boyfriend spoke Klingon to me in the bedroom and I loved it! Most girls don't enjoy watching star wars and say they do to get a boyfriend.
gemstone586 12
oooo... you just confused star wars and star trek... prepare for the fury of the nerds!! hahaha. I'm not a nerd, but I know better than to do that....
yanoifeelhorrid 5
Sorry I was thinking two different thoughts me and my ex-boyfriend played star wars in the bedroom too. I prefered Star Wars and he preferred Star Trek.
setsuna9 25
"Claims to be"? Really? Just because she doesn't like you speaking Klingon in the bedroom, doesn't mean that she is not a "true" nerd. That's insulting to just about every female nerd/geek. We don't have to understand or like every single one of your fandoms, just as we don't expect you to understand/like all of ours. Imagine that she spoke Elven to you during sex, and you were taken aback? Do you lose your "nerd cred?" Also, I'm kinda concerned that, while having sex, the first thing you think of is how to formulate a sentence in Klingon....
glitterkuro 18
I agree. The whole 'fake geek/nerd girl' trope makes me way uncomfortable, and it means that nerdy girls are isolated from fandom because they are constantly forced to 'prove themselves' as real nerds in ways that boys aren't. And I mean, we all have to start somewhere, right? Just because they aren't totally knowledgeable about every aspect of a fandom doesn't mean they're faking it, just may be new to it and don't know all of that yet. Aside from that, I think a lot of people might be put off by something that... out there in the middle of sex if they weren't expecting it. I mean, unless you've talked about turn-ons beforehand, there's so many things that can unintentionally ruin a moment. I've heard so many stories where attempts at dirty talk (regular dirty talk that isn't in Klingon!) have totally turned somebody off. You kind of need to check before you attempt anything that you aren't 100% sure the other person will find hot!
clh3031 6
Are you really serious about having to 'prove yourself' as a real nerd? I'm not trying to be insensitive so please don't take it that way. I'm just trying to understand this concept. How does one prove this, what are the guidelines? Who is the decision maker to say you are or you aren't? More importantly, who gave them the right to judge you. I understand fakers but if someone asked me to prove something, I have the choice not to. To me if you feel like you have prove yourself to someone, maybe that person isn't worth knowing or maybe they should stick around long enough to find out for themselves.
JessTheAwesome 10
#168 this video sums up the experience a lot of us have. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rjy5yW1gQ
glitterkuro 18
Seriously #168, it happens. On the internet and in real life, as soon as you say "I'm a fan of X" and you either are or are perceived as female, people don't believe you and start testing you. Like I've said before "I'm a massive Doctor Who fan" and instantly people ask "oh yeah? Who's your favourite Doctor? I bet it's David Tennant", and imply that I'm a poser (it happened a lot more when I was younger and a bit more shy). I've never seen it happen to my male friends who are also fans. I also have a good friend who is a gamer but because she's a girl, people assume she either won't be as good or won't be into 'real games'. And I'm not talking about friends or partners not believing me (I assure you that I would not stick around if somebody like that doubted me) but in spaces like meeting other fans, societies etc. And yeah, it is very off-putting and isolating when you want to meet new friends and discuss your fandom and people are acting like you don't have a right to be there because of your gender.
glitterkuro 18
YES watch the video/listen to the song #207 posted! That is EXACTLY what it's like.