Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
P1Nk13 7
Did she initiate the intercourse by throwing things at you? Or maybe you forgot to recite love poetry and bite her on the face.
sleepindogs 8
Well done!
fordneagles 34
Should have gone with Sindarin, Klingon is much too harsh a language to use between the sheets.
thatisfuckedup 6
**** Sindarin, people underestimate the sexual power of the Na'vi tongue. That's how my boyfriend seduced me.
heinous966 15
jIQoS
Ashamed_Sister 60
I couldn't believe it: I found a Klingon translator and that site told me your sentence means "I'm sorry".
LittleRed79 39
I think this one will mate with you OP!
laden_swallow09 34
Literally.
Evil_Wench 16
Were you on her starboard bow at the time?
RedPillSucks 31
starboard bow? You are aware that starboard is the "right" side and "bow" is in the front, right?
amykins11 6
Yeah I'm pretty nerdy but I wouldn't know how to react to something like that...I'd just awkwardly laugh until the moment was ruined... But yeah there is a big difference between being a nerd and being a big enough trekkie to commit to learning a fictional language
TameGeek 21
'oH SoH qotlh
martin8337 35
And chupacabra too.
RedPillSucks 31
gesundheit?
splitintwo 6
Shes a nerd not a loser. My ex could speak elvish fluently, as cool as it is you can speak a fictional laungauge that doesn't make it sexy. It also means you have far too much time on your hands.
tjw1616 21
uhh...yeah dude, don't do that, awkward beyond belief & an extreme mood killer, I wouldn't even be able to make eye contact the next time I saw you
tjw1616 21
Lol! he's lucky he even got any in his lifetime