Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (271)
ArmyDoc 11
Probably not a total deal breaker..Don't beat yourself up too bad OP, it's just one mistake and not a bad one. If she doesn't give you another chance over that than she's not a girl worth pursuing anyways. Live long and prosper buddy.
Missyeru 14
Just because a girl isn't into listening to you speak Klingon DURING SEX, does not make her less nerdy! A. Is she even into Startrek? B. Klingon, is the UGLIEST of all sci-if/fantasy. Choose Sindarin (elvish), Al Bhed, heck I think even Huttese would be better!!! C. How did you think this was a good idea?!? Impress her with your Klingon outside of the sheets, and quite frankly I'm borderline offended, as a female 'nerd' by all aspects of the word, that because she was turned off, you deem her less nerdy, and only 'claiming'
Dthsapprntc 23
I think you have every right to feel offended #32. There is no prerquisite for liking Star Trek, or finding Klingon sexy (because it really isn't) to be a nerd. I have a feeling that OP is just a trekkie, a Star Trek geek if you will, and not a true nerd.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
I think you're reading too much into the OP's turn of phrase. Take two people. Both are deeply into LotR, Dr Who and a whole host of nerdy things. They're equal in how much they obsess over those things. One of them is also into Star Trek. Who is nerdier? As for the claims thing. If the non-Trek fan says that they are nerdier than the Trek fan, wouldn't you agree that was a false claim?
Dthsapprntc 23
#202, no I would not say that since Star Trek has really nothing to do with being a nerd or a geek. All you have there is one person who is a Trekkie and one that is not. I have met many people who are die hard Star Trek fans, or geeks, yet are not nerds, and I have met many nerds who don't care for Star Trek.
Alicestraza 33
I'm nerdy as hell, but this would be a big no for me. There are so many nerdy interests in world, just because she's not into dirty Klingon talk doesn't mean she isn't into other nerdy things.
xSkittle 16
This ''I am a nerd'' thing really has to stop.
Alicestraza 33
Why? It's just a social identifier to say "we have similar interests". If you're talking about the ridiculous statement on clothing and cushions, then I agree. :p
IIIIIIIII 7
Do you also scream 'KHAAAAAN' during sex?
TheBrochure 22
I'll bet he's saving that for climax: "KHAAAAAAAM!!!"
MissDQ 12
A nerd does not a fandom make. I am by no means a 'nerd', though I am a member of many fandoms, Star Trek not included and that would certainly freak me out. My heart lies with the Rebellion. In a Tardis. At Minas Tirith. Wait, what ?
WhiteCrimson 23
Leonard you freaky man
Valiumknights44 12
What girl wouldn't want to hear Klingon during sex? But just to make sure maybe next time you should dress up as Worf to set the mood.
SWC_Penguin 17
If you spoke Klingon but didn't draw blood you only went halfway. She's mad because you didn't commit to the role.
WaywardDaughter 26
Qapla!
cnparks1990 9
Im a girl and a nerd but i dont think i would ever want that to happen.
Snorlax_Snarf 10
You're 13. You're going to have to wait awhile to even have the chance of that happening.
edanielleh 21
too far man, too far
RedPillSucks 31
Or not far enough? See #46