Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
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Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
sexysaltshaker 11
You'll find someone, OP.
jillytc 23
depends how long you had sex... if he started it thirty seconds in... he's screwed.
xx000o 27
Leave the Klingons in the basement while you are in the bedroom, you may not get that many chances.
xSkittle 16
Why? He might find a girl someday who speaks it too. He shouldn't change himself.
RedPillSucks 31
Sometimes you need to change yourself when you do stupid stuff. Unless he already has some girls tied up in the basement. Besides. Have you seen klingon mating rituals? Pretty violent.
xSkittle 16
And who chooses what 'stupid stuff' is? That's subjective.
ksks1234 33
100-- if he knows the girl well enough and knows she is into that, it is one thing. If he is just bringing some "nerdy girl" home to bang, he should probably alter his sexual trysts.
AntiPrude 26
@100 Please, give me a break and cut the 'everyones equal' crap. If someone is pathetic enough to try and talk a weird fictional language from a nerdy old sci-fi tv show while they lucky enough to be having SEX, then they are a loser and they deserve to be alone in their basement.
Dthsapprntc 23
Not all nerds are into Star Trek. Maybe try a different fictional language like Elfish or Quarian. (Quarien?). Or maybe a programming language? Though I have no idea how to make that sound sexy. Anyway, you deserve it OP. Maybe just ask her what turns her on next time, yes?
HostEXE 8
Don't know how to male a programming language sexy? Just declare her clASS as private ;)
HelloooooNurse 20
Black speech, could be hot too.
Wonder_Woman257 11
Some of us are gamers too that are just the smart and quirky kind of nerd. I mean I like to play guild wars 2, WoW, and then I also like to play stuff like CoD. There are just so many variations
Azail 15
@ 25 Yeah because that doesn't sound racist at all..
WaywardDaughter 26
Why should OP change himself?
crazytwinsmom 25
@20, she could have an algorasm.
Vidrill 22
Just because someone is a nerd, doesn't mean they like nerdy things in bed. Or Klingon in particular.
unwantedforlife 14
Klingon is in no way attractive or appealing, especially during sex, to any girl. YDI
HelloooooNurse 20
Girls, would rather you speak elvish during sex.
Emiweb 9
Maybe you mean, no matter how nerdy a girl is, as opposed to 'claims to be'. Not being turned on by Klingon during sex doesn't negate nerdiness. It's a horrible sounding language to begin with. I guess cause I wouldn't like it either, I'm not a nerd and need to hand all my comics and stuff back.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
If she claimed to be nerdier than any guy and then couldn't handle Klingon during sex, then she's not as nerdy as some guys.
JMichael 25
There's always a limit. And speaking in tongues during sex is one.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Agreed. Doesn't matter what language; if it's different than your native tongue, you're thinking too much.
fwongraven 10
PataQ!