Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Ham-fisted attempt
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Soon.
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Leftovers
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Top comments
Doortje 30
So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?
ScaryyMary 14
Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.
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Comments (265)
mad_hatter0666 22
that's so sad.
FMLforALL 0
Guess what OP!?! So is bacon, pork chops and sausage! I just hope you're not Jewish.
takemewithy0u 0
Wow... were you home schooled?
prettypinkpixie 9
Bacon also comes from pigs, just in case you didn't know that. So many new things to learn at such a young age. I hope you can handle all the excitement.
littlejord007 0
WTF? who cares if he didn't press the shift button to capitalize the first letter... it doesnt ******* matter at all, stupid ass grammar police
donicus 0
moron
thug007 1
Are you ******* retarded?
tiffanylovesyou 0
I didn't know that til last year.
allmidnighteyes 11
Bullshit. Everyone knows that if you explode a pig, it creates a bacon shower.
YtotsDI 0
rly and did u know cheese is cows earwax
raaaandi18 3
you are a bright one.