Who says he doesn't respect her decision? He's just acknowledging that this negatively effects him.

I agree with this whole-heartedly. She should have come to him and talked about it BEFORE she made the decision. It's selfish on her part and he needs to leave her. To the men and women out there who are in relationships like this, think hard about it.

Here is the definition of chaste: chaste [chayst] (comparative chast·er, superlative chast·est) adj 1. abstaining from sex: abstaining from sex on moral grounds 2. sexually faithful: not having extramarital sexual relations 3. pure in thought and deed: behaving in a pure way, with no immoral thoughts 4. plain: plain, simple, and unadorned in style It's more of the first meaning, not the second one, so I still believe the OP is in the right for being upset.

@113: Don't wish, do. Although as an annonymous internet friend, I wonder why you hate sex so much? It's a beautiful thing when done properly. If you aren't enjoying it, STOP!

Uh, yeah, no kidding... Don't do something you hate. What's up with that...?

#113 Then don't have sex . Seriously, if I was the OP and the chick did it for religious reasons I'd just dump her. But if I had a girlfriend who just plain hated having sex I wouldn't mind not doing it.

@#168, I totally agree! If the OP's girlfriend has radically different religious beliefs from those of the OP, perhaps they're simply not a match. To the rest of you: here's an analogy: It would be difficult for a vegetarian and a non-vegetarian to get married and live together, because the vegetarian refuses to eat meat, the non-vegetarian might not want to give up meat, and cooking separate meals would waste a lot of time and energy. I certainly (as one who really enjoys meat) would never attempt such a thing - that is, if I suddenly found out that I had been dating a vegetarian for two years, I would break up with her, and probably complain about it to my friends. Wouldn't it be silly if they were to scream at me, "You are a total ******* for not supporting her decision!" Why is sex such a contentious issue? It's not so different from eating meat in this regard: it's enjoyable to most people, and an important part of the lifestyles of such people, but one can live without it. Think about this carefully.

Well, we're having sex a lot less than we used to, but I would much rather not have it at all.... I've even offered to let him "cheat" on me (though if I gave him my permission it doesn't really count), but he refuses.

#171 You'd rather break up with someone then just make yourself a steak or something? And it wasn't about "not being a match" , I just wouldn't give up sex for something as ridiculous as religion. #173 I'm just curious, why do you hate sex? Is he bad? Does it hurt? What?

@#174: Fine, maybe the example was a bit silly, and maybe I wouldn't actually do that. The point stands -- I hardly think it would warrant calling me nasty names. As for religion... I agree with you again, but I try not to actually _say_ things like that because it makes the argument inaccessible to some religious people.

It sounds like something is seriously wrong with your relationship. I'm no Dr. Drew or nothing, but you really should find the root of this problem? Does he have a 6" wide penis? Were you abused as a child? Seek out some professional assisstance, or break up with him and find someone more compatible.

"It sounds like something is seriously wrong with your relationship." NOt wrong, just not normal "Does he have a 6" wide penis? Were you abused as a child? " Or does she just not like sex, period. Sure, it doesn't make much biological sense, but, niether does the way I never want children. "Seek out some professional assisstance, or break up with him and find someone more compatible." Why, they seem to be just fine in the situation they're in. Definitely not worth breaking up over.

@174: It does hurt some, and it's just not enjoyable at all... extremely uncomfortable... and though I haven't had any other partners besides him, he's had plenty and supposedly none of them have complained. @191: Not quite 6" wide, but he is rather big and I am rather small.... I wasn't abused or molested or anything like that so far as I know of, and seeing as sex is the only thing we're not compatible in, we're still working it out.

If it's not enjoyable, then don't do it. Just because nobody else has complained doesn't mean you're wrong. Get some lubricant if necessary. He should care if it's so uncomfortable for you. I would think there is definitely an issue if he wants to keep having sex knowing you're not happy about it. It's indicating there may be more to this than you think; he could be using you, he could be a fake, etc. If you are small to his large, you run the risk of tearing your ******, you know.

What's so great about him that you can't risk losing? Is he rich? I'm just saying, there's no shortage of dudes on this planet. If you aren't being satisfied, its often your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Especially since you haven't had any other partners. When my girlfriend tells me she didn't enjoy a certain part of sex, i go out of my way to try differently to please her. If she told me no matter what I did, she didn't enjoy it, I'd certainly consider setting her free to find someone that can do it for her. Eventually she would find that other person anyway, the question is how long you'll suffer a poor sex life until then.

You seem to think it's absolutely impossible that she just doesn't enjoy sex, period, with anyone. To me, she doesn't sound like she's not being satisfied. It sounds like she doesn't have an urge to satisfy at all. You, setting her free? If she's willing to break up with you to satisfy herself there's nothing wrong with that, but she should do it herself. Not have you break up with her.

If it's uncomfortable, it means something's most likely wrong. Yes it could be possible she just has no sex drive, but I'd still check into why it's uncomfortable, and I would certainly stop if it is so uncomfortable that it's hateable.

I think it would've been obvious if she had a desire for sex by now . And I think we've all agreed that she should stop having sex with him if she hates it so much.

But since he's her first, all she's known is uncomfortability, so of course she doesn't have a desire for sex. She should see why it's so uncomfortable, regardless of whether she wants sex or not, though.

@201: No, I'm not a gold digger, I just... love him, and I don't want to lose him. And while there may be plenty of fish in sea, that doesn't mean I know how to fish. Frankly it's miraculous that I'm going out with him at all. I'm extremely anti-social and only have one friend besides him. @205, 206, 207 & 209: I do have a sex drive, it's just very small. But like I said before, I'm still planning on having sex with him occasionally, even if it is painful, because I'd rather deal with that physical pain than the emotional pain of being forced to break up with him.

Dude, don't do that. Seriously, break up with him if he'd rather break up with you than give up sex. Although I do imagine even with a small sex drive you'd want to have sex once in a blue moon :| . Don't have sex if you don't want to, unless by "occasionally" you mean like 3 times year :|.

Well at the moment he's agreed to only have sex with me when I want it (he just does everything in his power to turn me on..), however if he ever tries to force me to have sex again, the situation will be different....

Then the OP should dump her if he hasn't already.