Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas

Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle!

Merry sigma grindset!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, I'd be spending it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 2 373

Happy 4th of July

By Bacon0426 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 084

You deserved it 1 214

Ludacris's birthday?

By Mr.Hoof-In-Mouth - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was talking to a customer needing IT help. I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. He gets quiet, then gives his birthday. September 11th. Cue the long silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 739

You deserved it 925

July the fourth be with you!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Loveland

Today, during my family's traditional fourth of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 060

You deserved it 3 527

Happy ******* birthday

By Anonymous - 31/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I’ve gone out of my way every year to make everyone around me’s birthday extra special. I can’t remember the last time anyone celebrated or remembered mine. This year my “best friend” scheduled her elective surgery I’m supposed to take her to on my birthday. What a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 132

Late entry to the Delusional Christmas list

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss is upset at us because not one person is going to the Christmas party that she so kindly bought all the snacks and drinks for. She scheduled it for noon, on the 25th of december. CHRISTMAS DAY. Hell, no no one is going, they’ll be with their families, not voluntarily going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 103

Take it easy

By KittyT - 02/12/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, on the third day of my first holiday ever, I still have food in my stomach from the first night. Yesterday I tried to walk up the beach and ended up crying in immense pain. I guess a holiday wasn't such a great idea after being diagnosed with gastroparesis a couple of weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 164

Thanks

By Lonely Heathen - 23/11/2023 22:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 176

Kinda sus

By Unwanted - 21/10/2023 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. My husband said he had to work today and “rain checked” my birthday celebration for “god knows when, because I’m so busy. I’ll let you know.” A couple of months ago it was his female work bestie’s birthday and he got her a cake, balloon, flowers, and requested time off to take her out for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 180

Preparation is key

By powerspin_fml - 27/07/2023 18:02 - Canada

Today, both my boss and my wife's boss gave us the day off. Do we go biking with the children? Do we go on a picnic with the children? No, I'm not allowed doing anything until she and I find a world-class, free activity to do. This is gonna be our day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 173

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 20/07/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 128

Missing out

By Not stonks - 05/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my workplace is doing a "time and a half" day for the Fourth of July. Take a wild guess at who is the only employee who's not scheduled to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 177

Lifegoals

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 18:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I’m unemployed with no children and hardly any social life, so you’d think my life was a constant, boring holiday, when in fact I'm so busy every day that I think I might have to designate myself a “day off” just to recover from the stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 362

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 974

December baby

By December Birthdays Suck - 07/12/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, my birthday is in two weeks. I began looking up significant events that occurred on my birthday just to feel as though it actually matters to someone. Few of my friends remember it, and the ones that do have trouble trying to squeeze it into their schedules without screwing up their Christmas plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 132

Anyone fancy a pint?

By Apolline - 24/10/2022 10:00 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's also the day of my grandmother's funeral. I spent most of my 21st birthday in a cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 142

Same

By Venezuelan - 06/05/2022 08:00

Today, a classmate wished me a “Happy Cinco De Mayo” and bought me a Mexican sombrero to wear, and little paper Mexican flags to wave around. I’m Venezuelan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 138

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 181

Take the L

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 04:58 - United States - Chester

Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 286

Happy nothing at all

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 23:05 - United States - Denver

Today, Betty White died. What a great way to start the new year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 237

Performative

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 01:02 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I fucking hate Veterans Day. It's just an outpouring of artificial gratitude, because tomorrow when all the parades and free meals are all gone, my back will still hurt, my knees will still hurt, and my soul will still be tainted. No one fucking gives a shit anymore, not like yesterday, not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 305

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 106

Neverending story

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 11:01

Today, it's my birthday. We were supposed to be going to a nice Italian restaurant at 6.30 p.m. Instead, the whole region is going into a snap lockdown from 6 p.m., due to the recent community transmissions of Covid-19. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 165

It isn't

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 16:02

Today, it's my birthday, none of my friends wished me a thing. I spent the whole day crying and then decided to call few of them and sobbingly demanded an explanation. Most of them didn't pick up, the rest called me a drama queen, saying that my birthday isn't as important as I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 1 805

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 112

Rest in Piss

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 07:30

Today, more of my friends celebrated Rush Limbaugh's death than celebrated when I won a national award two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 402

At last

By Anonymous - 04/02/2021 20:01

Today, on the third of February, my mom finally relented and let us take the Christmas decorations down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 121

How could you forget?

By James - 31/01/2021 11:01

Today, I realised that my birthday was yesterday. I was so busy with my painting work that I completely forgot. I realised when I got messages from friends in the USA, wishing me a happy birthday. Seriously timezones? FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 303

Bye then!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 18:57 - Mexico - Garza Garcia

Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 102

Big bastard boss

By noporn4u - 03/10/2020 19:01 - United States - Kaukauna

Today, my time off request was rejected, and my boss promptly took the day off himself, claiming he has people coming to work on his house. We work from home. The day in question is my 5-year wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I told my supervisor that I would have appreciated more oversight when running an advanced protocol for the first time recently. I'm now doing remedial basic training, for reduced pay and benefits, and my probationary status is "extended indefinitely." FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 132

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 659

You deserved it 6 337

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 193

You deserved it 7 668

Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 227

Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 488

You deserved it 4 095

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 755

You deserved it 6 305