Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
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Top comments
Poke_my_mon 0
No Birthday sex? Aww buddy I feel so bad for you. Excuse me while I go have sex with my girlfriend.
Wdgames 0
I bet the Afro is involved in some kinky games, right?
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Comments (240)
honeydew4u 0
My bf is a virgin and likes the idea of waiting... maybe we should breakup with them and be together with each other!? Ok not really but as much as it would seem bad and like an 'douchey' thing to breakup, i myself am starting to see its not being a dick to have desires and needs and things you want in a relationship. you have a right to that. she has a right to abstain. therefore...if you really cant be happy in a sexless relationship, either leave, or (Im also not one to condone cheating, but...) find someone who can satisfy that part of you on the side so you can still keep her (yes, morally wrong, but is it really that bad if you are also trying to respect her wishes and protect her chastity?). Its probly better to satisfy the needs elsewhere than to pressure someone who isnt ready/wanting to have sex, though breaking up should be the first option in such a case. but if u can live without the sex, by all means go for it. I personally dont think I can, so props.
swagga0n1oo 0
Damn, you make it like sound like sex is everything. Ever heard of a *******? handjob? hell buddy, I dated a girl who was like that till marriage and shit still gave me some of the best sexual pleasures of my life. Get a hobby for real bro
mike1921 0
No, sex isn't everything. BUt it's important.
hosleyb 0
I feel for you bro, I've had the understanding that my girlfriend doesnt want to have sex until marriage since we started going out, but I love her more then anyone else so i just gotta deall with it...it aint all about sex though, if you can have a great relationship with someone you love then you dont really need sex; i dont think so.
RandomCommenter 0
Yeah. So? I utterly fail to see how this is an FML. La-ame.
Megantilby 0
sad.so sad
mike1921 0
You must've lived a sheltered life
Bucinka 5
Gee, I dunno...women like that are more likely to give oral and anal because they think they're still chaste if their hymen's not busted. You might come out ahead. Get it? A-HEAD?! BWAHAHAHA! I crack me up sometimes! Anyway, this doesn't have to be an FML. Make lemonade out of lemons, if you know what I mean.
willyboy1234 0
chasTITY. she wants to fucck me. boobs.
alshclown 0
good for her! op, you suck for considering this an fml.
athena3100 9
..... Whats a vow of chastity?..... I feel kida stupid :(