By BirthdayBoy - 25/09/2009 14:54 - United States

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 943
You deserved it 7 316
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Top comments

Poke_my_mon 0

No Birthday sex? Aww buddy I feel so bad for you. Excuse me while I go have sex with my girlfriend.

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Wdgames 0

I bet the Afro is involved in some kinky games, right?

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Comments

jonny2x4 0

After two years, you now find out... "She's just not into you" I think she might be trying to force your hand to make you propose. Emotional blackmail. The way I see it, the front door may be off limits, but that doesn't mean the back door isn't.

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romaunts 0

Meh, your life isn't ******. Stay with her if you love her, and let your hand be your new best friend until she comes around. If you don't care so much, dump her and find someone else to bone. -shrugs-

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Ox_Baker 0

What was that line? "A maiden before and a martyr behind." Just roll her over and **** her in the ass.

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Me27 0

So it's an FML for having a virtuous girlfriend? Yeah, poor you.

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bbi5291 0

@#156, it is up to each individual to decide what "virtue" is for himself/herself. There are some fundamentalists who believe that it is acceptable to beat one's wife, you know? Who think that such an action would be "virtuous" because, in their minds, it would "keep her in line"? So if a woman were to come on here and post a FML about how her husband beat her... I might say, YDI to her perhaps for having married such an idiot, but if anyone posted "So it's an FML for having a virtuous girlfriend? Yeah, poor you.", wouldn't that be silly?

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Ross_H 0

Tell her that you have decided to take a vow of singleness.

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triplethreat13 0

Oh poor you, your girlfriend has values and independence.

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mike1921 0

I love how you say that like taking a vow of chastity automatically makes you more moral than someone who doesn't.

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johnny_carmello 0

******* mare just get her drunk a lot i suppose is your best option then

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ProtoBuster_1 5

Okay, on one side, we have those who believe the OP should break up with his girlfriend and find another woman (I'm one who believes that). On the other, we have those who believe he should respect her decision and stay with her. To those who think he should stay: you honestly think he should remain in a relationship where he will be unhappy? If you were in his shoes and your significant other dropped a bomb that after 2 or more years in a relationship, the sex ends ("no more nookie for you"), I know you'll feel the same as the OP did. As people on here have said, sex is a essential part of a loving relationship. The only way it's not part of it is if they have a platonic relationship or a marriage of convenience.

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Roberto22 0

if there are any girls on here who say the person who wrote this is a horrible person or a 'typical' guy, they are clearly fat

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nobitch 0

**** you where in the hell do you get off thinking that only fat women get played by assholes? what, you think no guy would ever be a douche to the cheerleader? what are you ******* stupid?

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blo0_starZz 0

yeah? i never knew there were fat to-be models. hmm... (although, personally, they shud!! they hv curves ppl, & btr than ours :D)

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