By Flighted - 22/09/2012 04:54 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 620
You deserved it 3 053

Same thing different taste

Top comments

DeadxManxWalking 27

So you broke up with her cause she said no? Maybe she just wasn't ready?

Iknowsomestuff 9

Maybe she broke up with him though.

Comments

DeadxManxWalking 27

So you broke up with her cause she said no? Maybe she just wasn't ready?

Iknowsomestuff 9

Maybe she broke up with him though.

Well you never know, she might have dumped him.

When someone says no to a marriage proposal, that pretty clearly means "this isn't going to work out."

Or it means, "I'm not ready for such serious commitment YET."

BeforeItWasCool 12

11- That's not always the case. There are so many reasons. The ex could have wanted to wait until she was older- I know I don't want to get married until I'm at least out of my twenties- or she could have simply not been ready. It's never one set rule, and not necessarily always because the relationship is going nowhere.

Usually when it's a "not yet" they say so in their rejection. If she didn't qualify the no then he made the right move.

Talkryz 7

Or it means thanks for paying for the vacation but I won't marry you. But you can keep buying me shit and taking me places. Clearly there isn't enough info to make a proper assessment.

Saying yes to an engagement doesn't mean you have to start planning the wedding right away. It just means that you know this person is the one and you plan to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with them. If she couldn't say yes with the condition that they would have a long engagement then she probably did not want to be with him. It does depend on how long they have been together, though. I had a psycho ex that proposed to me repeatedly after only two weeks. He's been engaged three times since them and is still not married. You can't rush the situation.

Why end it? They could have broken up because she or the OP felt that they want different things. She said "no". She didn't say she wasn't ready (according to the FML) and there was still a chance to change her mind later on. Maybe he was ready to settle down and she made it clear that it will never be with her. (result: break-up) ***There are also women out there that guys think as "wife material" and ones that they're just ******* around with and never intend to marry. Maybe the OP's ex let him know that he was just that to her, someone she's just ******* around with. Not everyone wants to settle.

If my boyfriend asked me to marry him tomorrow I would say no. Reason I'm not ready- I'm only 22. If they are young then I can understand where she is coming from. Just sayin- no isn't always a permanently closed door.

17. Usually a "no" doesn't mean I need more time. If you say "I need some more time" when being proposed to that means she needs more time. "no" just means no.

calvincole 3

You know she could have dumped him.

But again, if your relationship will end over this, then you made no attempt to seek out what she was after before you went around making plans to pop the question. Expect the hard answer then if you're going around clueless, no sympathy here.

PhishloverA 14

#1 why do you immediately assume OP dumped his fiancé? When someone says no in a proposal it means the person is saying relationship won't last

CaitiieBuggs 23

The original FML said she also told him she was going to end the relationship, but was waiting for the vacation to end to do so.

Epikouros 31

@53 If you want to have kids, you're a moron. Just like most women of your generation, but still. You're a grown-up and you've probably been fertile for ten years or more. Do you want to wait until you need IVF to get pregnant, and have your last kid leave the house when you're in your 50s?

113 So are you saying we should be having kids when we're 12? Marriage isn't all about kids. It's a pretty serious thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly.

LilliPage 17

113 - You're the moron. My sister is 22 with a six month old baby, she's married, and she still lives with her in-laws. They were not ready to be married and only got married because they were about to have a child. You need to be able to live on your own and support everyone before having a child. Maybe #53 just actually put some thought into her life and wants to be able to live without needing help from others.

She's 22, not 42! She has plenty of time left to have kids if that's what she wants. If she wants a dozen or more kids, then maybe she'd better get started now. But plenty of people have kids after they're 22, and don't need any help doing so. My mum was 34 when I was born, and I'm the oldest.

#113 Are you mad......a lot of women these days want to establish themselves before rushing into marriage and kids. Whats the point in trying to build and look after a family if you can't even look after yourself. Timing and surrounding situations play a big part in these kind of decisions.

If more people had 53's mindset, we might actually have a lower divorce rate.

Why does that end the relationship? You shouldn't break up because of that. -.-

Because if you want to take your relationship to a next level and your partner doesn't have the same feelings, there's no way to go next.

There are just some time when people are not ready yet

DeadxManxWalking 27
xoconnie 8

it's called asking someone to switch seats with you or just putting headphones on to watch tv or listen to music!

it's not a next level, it's a day of celebration

Maybe she isn't ready. Give her some time to think.

Doesn't always mean you have to break up ... Good luck op

Well here's the thing. In the FML it said ex. So they clearly did break up.

wildsweetchild 19

You know, you can always move your flight to the next one.

Or move hers to the next day and strand her at the airport. ;)

zingline89 18

7 ate it. 9 was just an appetizer.

It always confuses me when there's no #1 though.

33, the FML team periodically removes comments. They also removed the FML about slapping the turkey, because I can't find it. It's like in the book 1984. They are here one minute and then poof, they "disappear" in the middle of the night when no one is around to hear them scream.

59, I was talking to 33 who mentioned that sometimes there is not a #1 post. Also, my post was meant to be a joke more than anything else. Which should be apparent since comments can't scream. I assume that if a comment is deleted it is because it was inappropriate.

The reason some #1 comments disappear is because some very, very stupid people like to rush in and post stuff like "tht sux", "lol", "im sry", and "Alan is way funnier than Sirin". The "first!" screamers are pretty annoying as well.

Have you been discussing marriage so you know you're on the same page? If not, you kind of deserve it. And why did you break up? That she says no now doesn't mean it will always be a no.

I absolutely agree. As romantic as a spontaneous proposal can seem, marriage really isn't something to spring on someone without seriously discussing it first. Not saying it can't work otherwise, but it's more practical. I have a hard time feeling much sympathy for anyone whose out-of-the-blue marriage proposal goes awry, to be honest.

jem970 19

We don't know if any of what you are saying is true. They could have been discussing it and OP misread her timeline. She could have told him "yes, I want to get married," and just left off the not YET. This is vague so we cannot jump to conclusions.

Sun_Kissed18 25

There's no way to know what happened. What I pictured was something along the lines of: "Uhh, no sorry. I didn't know we were 'there' yet and I'm not sure I ever will be." Considering they broke up, I think its safe to say that one or both of them didn't want to "wait until they were ready." He wanted to marry her, clearly he was committed. Maybe she just realized she didn't feel the exact same.

Yeah, what an idiot. Some people just don't get it.

wildsweetchild 19

Sorry OP, but you know, you can always move your flight to the later time.

Well.. Maybe you shouldn't have asked it on that day, because you can always get a no... I'm sorry though ):

What? Is it now a rule that you will always get a no on a certain day? (In regards to proposing)

Yeah. Didnt you know? Fridays usually get a no. Same goes for Wednesday because thats the day for humping and not proposing.

I meant that he maybe shouldn't've asked it on the day before they left, because you can get a no to every question and then you can get in a situation like this.

125, should he have asked on day one? Then they could have spent their entire vacation miserable instead of just the last night and flight home.

127 Because that is totally what I just suggested. I'm not saying he did something stupid, but this was risky. Personally, I would've asked back at home, if this was my situation.

zingline89 18

That's just plane awkward. Apparently there was a lot of turbulence in your relationship that needed to be worked out. It's just too bad you didn't have your wingman with you to help you out.

Something just didn't fly with her. They must've missed a connection. Perhaps OP had too much baggage. But breaking up before the vacation was even over? That's just not fare. She should've delayed her announcement. I'm sure now they just want to book it home and end this.

snapdragon1100 7

Unless that was an intended pun (but something tells me it wasn't) that "plane" should be "plain".

You had to ruin the chain with your stupidness? Really now? The was PLANE wrong.