By Flighted - 22/09/2012 04:54 - Canada - Georgetown
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11- That's not always the case. There are so many reasons. The ex could have wanted to wait until she was older- I know I don't want to get married until I'm at least out of my twenties- or she could have simply not been ready. It's never one set rule, and not necessarily always because the relationship is going nowhere.
Saying yes to an engagement doesn't mean you have to start planning the wedding right away. It just means that you know this person is the one and you plan to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with them. If she couldn't say yes with the condition that they would have a long engagement then she probably did not want to be with him. It does depend on how long they have been together, though. I had a psycho ex that proposed to me repeatedly after only two weeks. He's been engaged three times since them and is still not married. You can't rush the situation.
Why end it? They could have broken up because she or the OP felt that they want different things. She said "no". She didn't say she wasn't ready (according to the FML) and there was still a chance to change her mind later on. Maybe he was ready to settle down and she made it clear that it will never be with her. (result: break-up) ***There are also women out there that guys think as "wife material" and ones that they're just fucking around with and never intend to marry. Maybe the OP's ex let him know that he was just that to her, someone she's just fucking around with. Not everyone wants to settle.
@53 If you want to have kids, you're a moron. Just like most women of your generation, but still. You're a grown-up and you've probably been fertile for ten years or more. Do you want to wait until you need IVF to get pregnant, and have your last kid leave the house when you're in your 50s?
113 - You're the moron. My sister is 22 with a six month old baby, she's married, and she still lives with her in-laws. They were not ready to be married and only got married because they were about to have a child. You need to be able to live on your own and support everyone before having a child. Maybe #53 just actually put some thought into her life and wants to be able to live without needing help from others.
She's 22, not 42! She has plenty of time left to have kids if that's what she wants. If she wants a dozen or more kids, then maybe she'd better get started now. But plenty of people have kids after they're 22, and don't need any help doing so. My mum was 34 when I was born, and I'm the oldest.
#113 Are you mad......a lot of women these days want to establish themselves before rushing into marriage and kids. Whats the point in trying to build and look after a family if you can't even look after yourself. Timing and surrounding situations play a big part in these kind of decisions.
Why does that end the relationship? You shouldn't break up because of that. -.-
33, the FML team periodically removes comments. They also removed the FML about slapping the turkey, because I can't find it. It's like in the book 1984. They are here one minute and then poof, they "disappear" in the middle of the night when no one is around to hear them scream.
59, I was talking to 33 who mentioned that sometimes there is not a #1 post. Also, my post was meant to be a joke more than anything else. Which should be apparent since comments can't scream. I assume that if a comment is deleted it is because it was inappropriate.
Have you been discussing marriage so you know you're on the same page? If not, you kind of deserve it. And why did you break up? That she says no now doesn't mean it will always be a no.
I absolutely agree. As romantic as a spontaneous proposal can seem, marriage really isn't something to spring on someone without seriously discussing it first. Not saying it can't work otherwise, but it's more practical. I have a hard time feeling much sympathy for anyone whose out-of-the-blue marriage proposal goes awry, to be honest.
There's no way to know what happened. What I pictured was something along the lines of: "Uhh, no sorry. I didn't know we were 'there' yet and I'm not sure I ever will be." Considering they broke up, I think its safe to say that one or both of them didn't want to "wait until they were ready." He wanted to marry her, clearly he was committed. Maybe she just realized she didn't feel the exact same.
Well.. Maybe you shouldn't have asked it on that day, because you can always get a no... I'm sorry though ):
That's just plane awkward. Apparently there was a lot of turbulence in your relationship that needed to be worked out. It's just too bad you didn't have your wingman with you to help you out.
Something just didn't fly with her. They must've missed a connection. Perhaps OP had too much baggage. But breaking up before the vacation was even over? That's just not fare. She should've delayed her announcement. I'm sure now they just want to book it home and end this.