Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
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Top comments
By
feelingold
| 18
You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*
By
auzziegirl1938
| 22
Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...
COMMENTS
By
kcpestwick
| 15
Umm, wtf?
Reply
Yeshua_fml
| 19
Which to prefer? Hmmm.
Reply
LeFrogDog
| 27
Whew, I thought he was eating it.
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking..
Show it anyway
Reply
LittlestV
| 28
It's 'bollocks', not 'bullocks'. If you're going to imitate a Brit get it right...
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
In his defense, autocorrect may have had a hand in that
By
feelingold
| 18
You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*
Reply
MisUnFortunate
| 31
Well at least that'd mean he was using it instead of hoarding it in useless shreds.
Reply
feelingold
| 18
using and abusing...
Reply
gingaa96
| 18
Agreed, OP should count his blessings
Reply
itsellie27
| 9
What's wrong with him wanking?
Reply
Vitotaylor36
| 13
What the fuck is a gibbon anyway???
Reply
MidnaLink
| 32
A species of primate.
Reply
pimrol
| 16
sinterklaas!
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
What the hell does Santa Claus have to do which this?
Reply
feelingold
| 18
well hello there
Reply
darkfireflame
| 15
At least he'd e using the TP for a relatively constructive purpose XD
By
auzziegirl1938
| 22
Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...
Reply
MrsPegg
| 45
Epic rolling/TP prank? I wish I would've thought of that...
Reply
mb2_native
| 15
Maybe saving for a wackathon to make his parents proud? Ya never know in todays society haha
Reply
Mynameislinh
| 24
Maybe he's prepping for prom?
By
weveallbeenthere
| 30
wanking like a gibbon. Lmao
Reply
CelticSkye
| 13
"Fucking hell, son." I lol'd at that!
Reply
NiceGuysDoWin
| 21
'wanking like a gibbon' is my new favorite quote.
Reply
kieron2013
| 19
That's a surprisingly well used quote here in England.
By
WordAficionada
| 19
Haha; what the hell?!
By
cwl727
| 32
Toss them around his room for punishment.
By
thatnucca
| 36
I can't decide which of the two is worse? Either way, he's still a moron...
Reply
DomiLove
| 26
Well if he was "wanking" at least that'd be somewhat useful.... The streamers, well he could make that out of other things, or, you know, buy some.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Or he could be making the streamers AFTER wanking like a gibbon
By
sicksadworld1317
| 30
The way this was worded was just . . . great. You should tell him to get a grip on that.
On second thought, maybe not.
On second thought, maybe not.
By
foxwasalamb
| 24
why the fuck would anybody stash shredded bits of toilet paper?
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
Especially if they're not wanking like a gibbon.. :
By
mario2012
| 18
I guess he likes to have his cumuppance.