By Anonymous - 02/05/2014 14:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 495
You deserved it 4 501

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*

Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...

Comments

incoherentrmblr 21

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It's 'bollocks', not 'bullocks'. If you're going to imitate a Brit get it right...

RedPillSucks 31

In his defense, autocorrect may have had a hand in that

You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*

Well at least that'd mean he was using it instead of hoarding it in useless shreds.

gingaa96 18

Agreed, OP should count his blessings

RedPillSucks 31

What the hell does Santa Claus have to do which this?

At least he'd e using the TP for a relatively constructive purpose XD

Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...

Epic rolling/TP prank? I wish I would've thought of that...

Maybe saving for a wackathon to make his parents proud? Ya never know in todays society haha

Mynameislinh 24

Maybe he's prepping for prom?

CelticSkye 13

"******* hell, son." I lol'd at that!

NiceGuysDoWin 21

'wanking like a gibbon' is my new favorite quote.

That's a surprisingly well used quote here in England.

Toss them around his room for punishment.

I can't decide which of the two is worse? Either way, he's still a moron...

Well if he was "wanking" at least that'd be somewhat useful.... The streamers, well he could make that out of other things, or, you know, buy some.

RedPillSucks 31

Or he could be making the streamers AFTER wanking like a gibbon

The way this was worded was just . . . great. You should tell him to get a grip on that. On second thought, maybe not.

why the **** would anybody stash shredded bits of toilet paper?

Llama_Face89 33

Especially if they're not wanking like a gibbon.. :

I guess he likes to have his cumuppance.