Umm, wtf?

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Whew, I thought he was eating it.

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It's 'bollocks', not 'bullocks'. If you're going to imitate a Brit get it right...

In his defense, autocorrect may have had a hand in that

You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*

Well at least that'd mean he was using it instead of hoarding it in useless shreds.

using and abusing...

Agreed, OP should count his blessings

What's wrong with him wanking?

What the fuck is a gibbon anyway???

A species of primate.

sinterklaas!

What the hell does Santa Claus have to do which this?

well hello there

At least he'd e using the TP for a relatively constructive purpose XD

Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...

Epic rolling/TP prank? I wish I would've thought of that...

Maybe saving for a wackathon to make his parents proud? Ya never know in todays society haha

Maybe he's prepping for prom?

wanking like a gibbon. Lmao

"Fucking hell, son." I lol'd at that!

'wanking like a gibbon' is my new favorite quote.

That's a surprisingly well used quote here in England.

Haha; what the hell?!

Toss them around his room for punishment.

I can't decide which of the two is worse? Either way, he's still a moron...

Well if he was "wanking" at least that'd be somewhat useful.... The streamers, well he could make that out of other things, or, you know, buy some.

Or he could be making the streamers AFTER wanking like a gibbon

The way this was worded was just . . . great. You should tell him to get a grip on that. On second thought, maybe not.

why the fuck would anybody stash shredded bits of toilet paper?

Especially if they're not wanking like a gibbon.. :

I guess he likes to have his cumuppance.