By Anonymous - 02/05/2014 14:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 461
You deserved it 4 499
Kids
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feelingold 18
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You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*

349 1
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auzziegirl1938 22
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Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...

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Yeshua_fml 19
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Which to prefer? Hmmm.

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LeFrogDog 27
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Whew, I thought he was eating it.

47 3
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incoherentrmblr 21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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2 47
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incoherentrmblr 21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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2 56
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LittlestV 28
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It's 'bollocks', not 'bullocks'. If you're going to imitate a Brit get it right...

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RedPillSucks 31

In his defense, autocorrect may have had a hand in that

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feelingold 18
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You'd rather he was wanking like a gibbon?? *Parenting five*

349 1
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MisUnFortunate 31
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Well at least that'd mean he was using it instead of hoarding it in useless shreds.

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feelingold 18
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using and abusing...

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gingaa96 18

Agreed, OP should count his blessings

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itsellie27 9
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What's wrong with him wanking?

56 4
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Vitotaylor36 13
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What the fuck is a gibbon anyway???

53 18
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MidnaLink 33
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A species of primate.

32 1
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pimrol 16
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sinterklaas!

9 3
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RedPillSucks 31

What the hell does Santa Claus have to do which this?

11 3
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darkfireflame 15
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At least he'd e using the TP for a relatively constructive purpose XD

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auzziegirl1938 22
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Follow up story? I'm actually curious why he wants streamers out of toilet paper...

258 2
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MrsPegg 45
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Epic rolling/TP prank? I wish I would've thought of that...

5 2
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mb2_native 15
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Maybe saving for a wackathon to make his parents proud? Ya never know in todays society haha

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Mynameislinh 24

Maybe he's prepping for prom?

3 1
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weveallbeenthere 30
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wanking like a gibbon. Lmao

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CelticSkye 13

"Fucking hell, son." I lol'd at that!

40 2
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NiceGuysDoWin 21

'wanking like a gibbon' is my new favorite quote.

7 0
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kieron2013 19
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That's a surprisingly well used quote here in England.

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WordAficionada 19
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Haha; what the hell?!

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cwl727 32
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Toss them around his room for punishment.

106 1
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thatnucca 36
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I can't decide which of the two is worse? Either way, he's still a moron...

59 8
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DomiLove 26
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Well if he was "wanking" at least that'd be somewhat useful.... The streamers, well he could make that out of other things, or, you know, buy some.

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RedPillSucks 31

Or he could be making the streamers AFTER wanking like a gibbon

1 3
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sicksadworld1317 30
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The way this was worded was just . . . great. You should tell him to get a grip on that. On second thought, maybe not.

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foxwasalamb 24
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why the fuck would anybody stash shredded bits of toilet paper?

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Llama_Face89 33

Especially if they're not wanking like a gibbon.. :

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mario2012 18
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I guess he likes to have his cumuppance.

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