Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
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Top comments
Xathanos 16
Social retardation is a problem. Can be cured though I think..
mimi_animee 18
Grab his dick in public then !! :)
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Comments (215)
noobcake111 2
sounds like a tard
morticia13 2
Don't you mean turd?
niebauer 9
No they mean tard. As in reTard
jobsman99 0
Did he stop grabbing your breasts? The sex must be pretty good for you to stay with him.
sistersloth 3
I had to join JUST to comment on this! Your ****** is the bit INSIDE your body! If he is grabbing your insides in public then keep your legs shut and problem solved!!
santel_fml 8
Ur an idiot
ninjaniki 0
sisterslot is right.
scotch 4
No need to take it up the ass. ****** can be classified as anything near that area.
karagarren 8
she wasn't taking it up the ass. I appreciated her comment. It's true and amusing. Now good day. I said good day!
niplipsip 9
lol at idiots calling someone who understands one of the simplest aspects of human anatomy an idiot. No, the term "******" can't classify anything in that area. Yes, a ****** is on the inside. I love how the people on this site favor ignorance over almost anything otherwise. Makes my day :)
sourgirl101 29
It's just the "Atomic Dog" in him that must chase the cat. (:
CiaranPM 0
He sounds like a winner.
jobsman99 0
And I guess it is ok for him to constantly grab your ****** in private?
Lei_Aili 18
I think you mean vulva. The ****** is the actual hole. The outer portion of a woman's genitalia is the vulva, which includes the labia, ********, etc. It's kinda sad how misused that word is, especially by women.
RainbowHeadache 2
Because if you use anything other than Axe Wound, Bearded Clam, Beaver, **** sheath, Clam, Coochie, Cooter, ****, Lucifer's Cradle, Meat Curtains, Minge, Muff, Poon, Pussy, Sausage Wallet, Snatch, Taco, twat, Vag, Vagoo, Va-Jay-Jay, Vertical Smile, Whispering eye, or Wizard's Sleeve a guy usually has no idea what you're talking about. ****** is just a widely accepted term because everyone has given up trying to correct it & I'm fine with that. As long as he knows that you don't pee out of the same hole you have sex with then you're good to go.
santel_fml 8
Loser
tayza249 20
Nobody cares.
ReynshineCutting 10
I love that you alphabetized that lol. I just thought I'd add Bingo Card to the list :)
lizbiz5694 4
She said grab at not grabbed it so you can grab at something without actually grabbing it.
zombiekitten87 12
Stfu.
kate3101 15
Bravo. Thank you for this.
leadman1989 16
Taking notes... between bouts of hysterical laughter. On another note everyone around me looks frightened.
Lei_Aili 18
To #52: Slang is fine, just don't misuse proper terms. That'd be like saying anus when you mean butt cheeks, or bellybutton when you mean ribcage. And just because a word, when misused over time, can be socially accepted to mean something different does not mean that it should. Like the word decimate, for example, which people use incorrectly all the time; now no one knows what it actually means.
fakkumairaifu 14
This should have started "My ex-boyfriend". YDI if you stay with this asshole.
HomeAl0ne 20
Read OPs username then come back and apologise.
tonybalogna 0
Let him. Men are naturally superior to women so they can really do what they want....haha jk. That's bullshit. Kick his ass!
jaredofmo 22
I saw someone do that yesterday. It was a baby.