Sex and Intimacy: Strange terminology

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 1 762

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Same thing different taste

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 103

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 37 442

By foreseeingabreakup - 06/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 7 015

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 320

You deserved it 34 483

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 289

You deserved it 10 505

By No O-face - 18/01/2011 03:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 842

You deserved it 6 440

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 634

You deserved it 5 646

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 725

You deserved it 20 093

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

It's not you, it's him

By Anonymous - 02/10/2021 23:01 - Italy - Benevento

Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 266

mylonius 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:26

Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?

almost_there44 26

Monday 18 July 2016 22:27

Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.

Comments

mylonius 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:26

Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?

joeyl1990 28

Tuesday 19 July 2016 5:54

I can't unimagine this.

Arkham_Callabero 15

Tuesday 19 July 2016 7:15

That'd be so terrifying

MummyRavyne 14

Monday 18 July 2016 22:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

PainInTheAsss 16

Tuesday 19 July 2016 7:51

Cliche white mother of 5

almost_there44 26

Monday 18 July 2016 22:27

Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.

brenton490 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:28

Did you tell him " Better hope the couch is grippy cause your sleeping on it".

Driving_Gaming 22

Tuesday 19 July 2016 19:16

did anyone ever tell you your grammar sucks?

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 26 July 2016 3:16

What does she suck, eggs or lemons? May you could teach her how to do it.

wanted_2_want 40

Monday 18 July 2016 22:28

Probably he is used to some other types of vaginas? The ones that exist only in his head

77chris11 5

Tuesday 19 July 2016 4:54

in his hand*

devilgotmywoman 6

Wednesday 20 July 2016 16:23

*made of silicone.

Katrinnaw 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:29

Its not you it's due to the... ahem size of his legacy.

9a_z1 11

Monday 18 July 2016 22:44

What does he expect you to do about it? Shove some velcro up there next time?

askullnamedbilly 33

Monday 18 July 2016 22:44

...Was he expecting your ****** to be ribbed for his pleasure or something?

Welshite 39

Monday 18 July 2016 22:45

You aren't supposed to give a ****** a handshake.

pjsr 32

Monday 18 July 2016 22:56

Kegels!

Thegoofygoober 15

Tuesday 19 July 2016 3:08

the amount of down votes for good advice is barbaric

SilverSet 16

Tuesday 19 July 2016 6:26

Haven't you heard? Women can do no wrong, even pedophilia and rape are fine if women do it! And now for the down votes.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 3 097

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

The Top

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 065

You deserved it 4 084

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 089

You deserved it 11 388

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 408

You deserved it 7 016

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie where a girl proposed to a guy. He said, "I would hate it if that happened to me, obviously I don't want to get married if I haven't proposed myself." I was planning on proposing later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 358

You deserved it 8 818

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 077

You deserved it 5 125

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 762

You deserved it 1 824

Strange terminology

Same thing different taste

Wet noodle

It's not you, it's him

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