Transportation: Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I... - FML

By Kybo5 - 08/02/2013 05:45 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 874

You deserved it 56 059

Stop talking!

Does this smell weird?

Sounds like a keeper

By Noname - 08/02/2009 03:39 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 849

You deserved it 2 149

By Bondi414 - 15/02/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 459

You deserved it 2 759

By VMV - 01/02/2013 23:53 - Spain - Abrera

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 087

You deserved it 9 364

By papersofdivorce - 31/01/2013 17:08 - Peru - Lima

Spicy

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 214

You deserved it 3 691

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 851

You deserved it 4 569

By Langdon - 15/05/2009 07:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 627

You deserved it 9 577

Admit you're shit

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 20:02 - Australia

Today, I found out that one of my coworkers, who has been with the company for less than a week, is getting a $7k pay rise. I've been with the company for 8 months and still on minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 113

By DingusGinger - 21/04/2019 02:00

Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. Best part is I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 148

Brave

By :// - 04/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 277

You deserved it 5 823

By ehbe - 27/11/2008 08:52 - France

Spicy

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 922

You deserved it 8 099

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 02:19 - Reserved

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 739

You deserved it 4 053

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 124

You deserved it 1 405

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 757

You deserved it 10 290

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 072

You deserved it 46 395

By rbeast - 21/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 614

You deserved it 4 143

By uncomfortable - 12/03/2009 00:20 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 175

You deserved it 5 582

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 03:29 - United States - Dallas

Today, the last thing I remember before getting the shit beaten out of me at the bar, was my dipshit brother saying to me, "Dude, I'm not a racist, but" and then ranting about how non-whites should get out of America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 977

You deserved it 3 274

By davidthegreat - 05/07/2011 08:27 - Japan

Spicy

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 791

You deserved it 5 883

By Canali18 - 17/09/2016 14:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 297

You deserved it 1 098

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 14:00

Today, nine months after changing my entire life when my father had a stroke and I became his carer full time, I called my sister to talk about some his irrational behavior. All I got in response was, "I just watched a sad movie, I can't deal with this right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 101

By Mr_Yato - 19/01/2016 20:07 - United States

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 465

You deserved it 1 819

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 053

You deserved it 3 512

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 17:38 - Slovenia - Ruse

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 550

You deserved it 3 515

By hopefulanonymous - 20/11/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 111

You deserved it 34 972

By nick - 28/01/2010 05:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 286

You deserved it 5 349

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 09:01 - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 838

You deserved it 4 658

By Oops - 07/01/2017 20:48 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I accidentally spilled red wine on my cat. She ran away and licked the wine off before I had a chance to clean her. My mother is deeply concerned our cat is dying. I'm trying to tell her to wait 24 hours before taking her to the vet's, simply because I think my cat is hung over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 781

You deserved it 1 245

By dead rats - 08/08/2016 13:58

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 440

You deserved it 1 281

By Anonymous - 04/08/2011 03:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 051

You deserved it 28 171

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 586

By L - 01/06/2011 20:40

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 010

You deserved it 3 116

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 7 605

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 837

You deserved it 4 039

By mynoseburns - 22/02/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 647

By dilligaf - 27/09/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 296

You deserved it 18 488

By deathstar3548 - 22/09/2014 10:58 - United States - Orlando

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 736

You deserved it 3 445

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:06

Today, I had someone place two separate to-go orders, so that he could use two of his "25% off" coupons. He couldn't understand why it wasn't 50% off his total bill, no matter how many times I plainly explained it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 110

By FlowerPower - 20/07/2009 21:32 - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 772

You deserved it 18 257

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 472

You deserved it 19 249

By charlie - 10/05/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 735

You deserved it 2 975

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

ChickenTenders 6

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:19

Not quite sure how someone needing to vomit is funny...

rsunshine2020 13

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:21

You have a SICK sense of humor

Comments

ChickenTenders 6

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:19

Not quite sure how someone needing to vomit is funny...

oj101 33

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 13:15

Schadenfreude. Much more people out there have it than you think. You'd be surprised.

Wishez 12

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 14:43

Also, I wouldn't call it funny if someone is being taken away in an ambulance.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 15:02

You are a horrible person for thinking that. :(

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 15:03

Not funny at all..ydi, just be glad you weren't the one needing to vomit..

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:24

Especially when that person is a patient riding in an ambulance.....

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:36

There's one instance where I found it funny... the one episode of Family Guy where Stewie, Peter, Brian and Chris drank some nasty medicine and just puked continuously for like 30 seconds. Granted that's a cartoon, but technically, it can be funny sometimes. :P I was about to say that OP deserves it for taking pleasure in other people's pain, until I realized that's what we all do by coming to this website. Woops.

Blacksabbath211 9

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:37

Touché

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 21:45

Wonder if OP would have found it funny if the woman puked on him. That, I would have enjoyed hearing about.

Send a private message

Saturday 9 February 2013 2:22

Your a rider bottom of the pyramid what I have to do.

tjv3 10

Send a private message

Saturday 9 February 2013 3:10

YDI for thinking that a sick person is funny

Send a private message

Saturday 9 February 2013 4:12

agree! wth?!

Send a private message

Tuesday 28 October 2014 7:40

Someone vomiting means something is wrong, that's not funny, especially in a bloody ambulance! #1 is right, it's not funny and I hope you have a massive dick to match your personality

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:19

Why would you think someone vomitting was funny?

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:50

9 what?

oj101 33

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 13:14

Randomness is not everyone's cup of toaster.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 16:31

Or everyone's toast of tea

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:23

#9 I just saw a picture with that exact caption elsewhere. It was about a maths question or something... What a coincidence.

sens3sfailing 24

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:46

it is all over the internet...holy shit, thats where they got it from, no coincidence....

rsunshine2020 13

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:21

You have a SICK sense of humor

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 14:34

That's a GROSS understatement

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 15:05

Disgusting taste.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 19:45

That's just naaasty.

ninjaghost99 10

Send a private message

Saturday 9 February 2013 0:24

Realistically, he actually does have a sick sense of humor...

rsunshine2020 13

Send a private message

Saturday 9 February 2013 4:08

Which is kind of what I said.. Realistically of course

BeforeItWasCool 12

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:21

Does it really take that much observation to notice someone throwing up?

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 16:19

No, but it does take a special breed of human being to be amused by it.

superpoptart 24

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 16:34

This is a stupid fml.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:21

Why does being observant mean it's funny for you that they vomit? Being observant, though, I see an onslaught of "karma" comments coming, and I just want to say, karma aside, it serves you right. Not just trying to be holier-than-thou by that, just sincere; it'll teach you to put yourselves in their shoes. If you didn't enjoy the situation, chances are they hated it even more so. Emapthise a little and maybe you could be spared a few moments like this.

SillyGirl4602 23

Send a private message

Tuesday 12 February 2013 5:28

I completely agree. Any field where you work with patients, you need to learn how to empathize with them. I just really hope that OP did not laugh out loud in front of the patient.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:25

If you think it's funny that someone needs to throw up, then you deserve holding the bag for that person to throw up in, and you are far too immature to ride in an ambulance to "observe" anything. How would you like to have been that lady and see someone else trying not to laugh at your ailments?

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:27

Thats what you get for thinking its funny, surely you need to be professional?

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:32

I'm guessing OP is in their early teens and their parent was working in the ambulance. Or something similar. At least hopefully OP is not a medical professional, that'd be awful.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:27

Hopefully but to me seems like op is attendent -.-

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:30

YDI for thinking it was funny. Grow up!

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:36

Karma got back at you for being an inconsiderate ass.

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 17:23

Haha

Send a private message

Friday 8 February 2013 12:37

Welcome to the world of being an EMT. I have patients throw up all the time

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 14

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 55

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 253