Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked...

By Grubendol - 15/12/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27471

You deserved it

5954

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Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

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Top comments

By sweet2u22 | 9

#3736013 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:36

This is probably one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read.

By jackassiddy | 8

#3736017 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:37

I guess be glad she didn't say she was gonna beat you till you shit your pants?

Comments

By ShazzRandom | 7

#3735996 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:36

Did you lose any teeth like you see on movies when people get knocked in the jaw? That's gotta hurt!

Pabs24 | 0

#3736029 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:38

FALCON PUNCH.

KelpForBrains | 0

#3736164 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:51

8 - That comment was so bad I cut off my left nipple.

Zackaray | 0

#3736202 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:56

Pretty drastic measures to go to for JUST seeing a bad comment, don't you think? I would have done something way less than that, such as slicing out my jugular. But cutting off your nipple!? That has to be too far.

Damn_Hippster | 11

#3736490 - Friday 16 December 2011 0:02

Oh the irony. Although that kind of stuff happens to me as well.

TheDeadlyTurtle | 7

#3737352 - Friday 16 December 2011 3:27

Op: "screw u mom!"
Op's mom walks by:WTH??
Op's Mom: I can knock u out! Starts chuckling
Op: I can do it myself! Wham!
Op's mom starts running down hallway laughing.

cumatmebro | 0

#3740421 - Friday 16 December 2011 16:07

I haven't laughed this much in ages. :)

ShazzRandom | 7

#3748305 - Sunday 18 December 2011 5:47

Kelpforbrains was it the same nipple that got caught in the trumpet case?

By CudIEpie | 0

#3736009 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:36

Why would you do it yourself?

crazychick1269 | 7

#3736035 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:38

it was in a dream they didn't purposely do it

jackassiddy | 8

#3736057 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:39

I guess OP thought " if you want something done right.."

rciccone | 0

#3739821 - Friday 16 December 2011 13:40

lmao ask mike aka the situation the same thing when he knocked himself out when fighting with ronnie

jackassiddy | 8

#3740073 - Friday 16 December 2011 14:51

^The three things that will get you automatically thumbed down for mentioning: Twilight, Justin Beiber, Jersey Shore. *thumbs own comment down for mentioning the unholy trinity*

By sweet2u22 | 9

#3736013 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:36

This is probably one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read.

HentaiBunny | 4

#3736696 - Friday 16 December 2011 1:06

I agree. It's so weird and hilarious.

By jackassiddy | 8

#3736017 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:37

I guess be glad she didn't say she was gonna beat you till you shit your pants?

Crazyjoe33 | 6

#3736611 - Friday 16 December 2011 0:38

That would be a "shitty" situation...

docscientist | 9

#3736923 - Friday 16 December 2011 1:31

Fuck you, crazyjoe.

Crazyjoe33 | 6

#3746112 - Saturday 17 December 2011 18:16

What? Did you want to say it?

By MrSchneebly | 5

#3736018 - Thursday 15 December 2011 22:37

I hope you dont share a bed with anyone, they could end up in a bad way

M0rt | 0

#3736247 - Thursday 15 December 2011 23:04

Considering how he dreams about his mom I think it's safe to say he sleeps alone

Torva_fml | 16

#3738045 - Friday 16 December 2011 4:51

Last I checked cupcakes were slutty wanna-be muffins who wear too much frosting to try to cover up their blemishes. Muffins on the other hand... Are just beautiful.