FALCON PUNCH.

8 - That comment was so bad I cut off my left nipple.

Pretty drastic measures to go to for JUST seeing a bad comment, don't you think? I would have done something way less than that, such as slicing out my jugular. But cutting off your nipple!? That has to be too far.

Oh the irony. Although that kind of stuff happens to me as well.

Op: "screw u mom!" Op's mom walks by:WTH?? Op's Mom: I can knock u out! Starts chuckling Op: I can do it myself! Wham! Op's mom starts running down hallway laughing.

I haven't laughed this much in ages. :)

Kelpforbrains was it the same nipple that got caught in the trumpet case?

it was in a dream they didn't purposely do it

I guess OP thought " if you want something done right.."

lmao ask mike aka the situation the same thing when he knocked himself out when fighting with ronnie

^The three things that will get you automatically thumbed down for mentioning: Twilight, Justin Beiber, Jersey Shore. *thumbs own comment down for mentioning the unholy trinity*

I agree. It's so weird and hilarious.

That would be a "shitty" situation...

**** you, crazyjoe.

What? Did you want to say it?

Considering how he dreams about his mom I think it's safe to say he sleeps alone

Last I checked cupcakes were slutty wanna-be muffins who wear too much frosting to try to cover up their blemishes. Muffins on the other hand... Are just beautiful.

Meh.

yet it still caused you to "laugh out loud."

I meant its not funny when it happens to yourself..

I've been woken up by an intense ****** thinking I was having a wet dream. It was dry.... I am still confused as to how it happened.

Wait a minute, are you that guy that wrote the fml about how he was dreaming of bacon?

LOL

Very punny

Who does that?

He was asleep.