Gotta love those creative first comments -.-

I know, they're truly enlightening

Call the police huh?? Think the guy that is kicking your ass will simply stand by while you make a quick phone call to 911? If your only source of self defense is the police, then the best you can hope for is the cops showing up to take pictures of you all black and blue.

Obviously you can fight back and argue self-defense, but I think you should notify law enforcement if someone was uttering threats and assaulting you.

If you don't know who did it, the cops can not help you. There is no reason to call the cops before anything happens,,,, When it happens, you can not stop what is going on to call the police,,,, and when it is over the person is gone.... When exactly does calling the cops help? Unless you are extremely lucky and an officer stumbles across what is going on, the only thing they will ever do for you is paperwork for the insurance company. And this is coming from an ex-cop.

Time to hide weapons all over the office like Dwight does in 'The Office' !!

I think that might enrage him more.

Cant be mad if your beat senseless.

I'm not sure what you're suggesting the person do... Attack back? Clearly even less is going to be achieved if they aren't as strong. But if thats you're attitude from the perspective on an ex-cop, I can see why law enforcement may sometimes be ineffective.

@72, my god man, how long were you boiling that water? because that BURN was fatal!

I think its his father in law!

Maybe his wife is leading a double life and actually is married to the other guy, so he really is sleeping with that guys wife and yet not cheating on his own! *brain hurts*

I think the ducks husband is who threatened him. fucking a duck is what got him in the situation he's in now.

Are you sure you read the same FML I did?

Yeah he should call the police and inform both his wife and father-in-law (if he doesn't already know) immediately. If someone really is sleeping with that guy's wife I can't entirely blame his rage, but for one it was not smart to throw out a death threat in public, and his beef should really be with his wife. Yeah the home-wrecker is a douche no doubt, but the wife could have said no.

Yes! Why go around blaming the person who isn't even at fault? The wife is the only one responsible for cheating on her husband... going around threatening guys won't help that.

Well, he might blame both parties, but would prefer to threaten the other guy instead of his wife. That sucks, OP. I hope you're able to explain the situation to your wife. If she trusts you, it should be fine.

Have a break, have a KitKat.