Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
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Top comments
mt631 18
Use their shirt instead.
ArgentumAurum 24
Grab a few more while looking at him
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Comments (123)
thief1434 23
You should've told him he was a waste of human potential.
gigglemania 7
That's when you punch that person in the face and cause their nose to bleed and when they go to use paper towels say the same thing to that person that was said to you.
dragonfire5665 8
h y yumiya u ut turn p looks m
Witchylady 18
And I bet that bleeding heart hippie uses toilet paper to wipe her ass. And toilet paper comes from trees. And even recycled toilet paper may still contain trees from other recycled material. Ceiling frame for houses on roofs are made from wood. I am all for protecting the environment but we all utilise the wood from trees in ways we didn't imagine. Next time you cross paths yell back.
martin8337 36
#59 don't forget that they use papers to roll joints.
baby__batmann78 7
OMG ?xD
CaroAurelia 12
You should have shown her the bloody paper towels and asked her how she expected you to stop a nosebleed with a hand dryer.
chocolatefrog28 29
So they brought their own leaves into the bathroom with them then and ignored the toilet paper if they used the facilities while they were in there? They must hate mother nature and natural streams or rivers too, using indoor plumbing and all. What a crock.
Nuclear101 4
Punch them in the face so they get a nosebleed. Then see what they do. Call them an accident that became a fag and walk away.
bahamit 18
Don't you just wish you could give them a bloody nose and yell at them for using paper towels? Or is that just me?
worldclassrager 41
What would they say about toilet paper?