Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
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Top comments
mt631 18
Use their shirt instead.
ArgentumAurum 24
Grab a few more while looking at him
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Comments (123)
grabyourhooks 12
It's been 30+ years since new forest land was harvested for paper ... Or lumber for that matter.
NotGabe 28
Interesting... Is there a website or link I could go to to read up on this?
GentlemanBastard 15
This is untrue. I worked for a tree removal service and we sold logs to the mill all the time to be used for paper, lumber, etc.
gracehi 33
My boyfriend owns land used for lumber harvesting. He gets a nice check from the lumber company that uses his labs every few years.
gracehi 33
*land
grabyourhooks 12
I wouldn't count tree removal and harvesting virgin timber as the same.
grabyourhooks 12
I believe I saw it in Penn and Teller's Bullshit! Episode on recycling.
TheC00lCat 9
I'd like to see them try to use a hand dryer for a nose bleed...
Mauskau 36
This is when you stand there and let it just drip into the sink. They'll look at you like you're disgusting and then insist you use a tissue. But it can't clot if it drips.
grabyourhooks 12
Tackle them to the ground, spewing blood all over them while yelling, "you don't know where I've been Lou!!!!" .... It work for brad Pitt
grtfuldeadlovr 27
What is happening to the universe...
Khaleesi_26 30
The best thing to do in this situation is to just ignore them, and carry on with your business. They should really butt-out of other peoples lifestyles!
Bricktothehead 21
Paper towels are probably more environmentally friendly than a blow dryer, unless there's a solar panel hooked straight into it. Plus, Mythbusters found them to be more hygenic. Or maybe that's the part they're really disagreeing with...
MinorAnnoyance 1
Did you ask them what they used to wipe?
kellyem2 20
Maybe they didn't...*shutter"
Ohshitdude 21
thats when you say, "shouldn't you be chained to a tree, or shoving potatoes in exhaust pipes?"
annie917 15
You should've asked why the hell he or she was in the restroom to begin with and not in the bushes doing their business if they're so environmentally friendly.