Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
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Top comments
mt631 18
Use their shirt instead.
ArgentumAurum 24
Grab a few more while looking at him
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Comments (123)
PerditaDessa 38
When that type lectures me about drying hands with paper products I always turn it back on them. The blow dryers are worse for the environment.
paramor3 23
"Tofu farting fairies." - larry the cable guy
SamanthaThe1st 23
Wonder how those people play rock paper scissors
vikky538 29
apparently its a fight between bleeding heart vs. bleeding nose..
Alexeon 9
Damn dirty hippies. There is no shortage of trees to begin with. The more paper we use the more trees they plant, so use all the ******* paper you want
captainsmegma 12
Perfect time to tell someone to **** off.
ZombieGurl95 18
Wash your face off with water, then use the hand dryer to dry off?
HeartYou101 31
That's really unnecessary - When you can just take a some paper from a cubical, tell that hairy, sweaty, tree hugging asshole to **** off and then leave
EvilLittleMan 23
I am willing to say this occurred in Austin.
Crossbowe 13
You gotta do what you gotta do
Blaisey 22
Wipe your nose on them
martin8337 36
Hippies clothing are too dirty and nasty to wipe one's nose on.