Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML
Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
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Top comments
mt631 18
Use their shirt instead.
ArgentumAurum 24
Grab a few more while looking at him
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Comments (123)
Kougeru 12
You should point out that health experts have discovered that air dryers are multitudes more unsanitary than paper towels. Screw the planet.
savemeSheehan 8
I had that happen once (keep in mind there was no air dryer) and I just said im a vegetarian so it evens out. its not a lie and it shut her up.
drc428 5
you should have given her a nosebleed...
drc428 5
paper towels are usually coming from recycled paper duh
martin8337 36
Hippies are hypocrites, they use papers to roll joints, but complain when people use paper towels and such.
VittorioCarter 8
Wow that's so rude of them. And using toilet paper is not wrong.
ManateeRex 14
Use a tampon.
mylove8386 12
Seriously....
MrCantgetright 4
I'm guessing this tree hugging, wannabe hippie fucktard used the bathroom and didn't wash their hands. What a dirty bitch.
blackonblight 33
Aren't the paper towels in public restrooms made of recycled materials anyway?