By need € for new iron - Germany - Gevelsberg Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML I agree, your life sucks 80481 You deserved it 6737 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meowitzer - 22/4/2020 05:02 All over the place Today, a close, funny friend who has quite the attitude, received a long email from a long-time friend of hers, telling her how difficult she is. When I told her it doesn’t matter, that she is still wonderful, she went off on how bad a friend I am for saying that, and then deleted me off WhatsApp. FML I agree, your life sucks 1326 You deserved it 175 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By princess - Canada Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML I agree, your life sucks 151584 You deserved it 40508 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kat9232000 - Canada Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML I agree, your life sucks 17802 You deserved it 110294 241 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikey51 - Australia Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML I agree, your life sucks 10580 You deserved it 41341 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 26660 You deserved it 2339 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 2291 You deserved it 1184 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By papergirl - United States Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML I agree, your life sucks 39194 You deserved it 19520 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/1/2021 14:01 - United States - Pittsburgh Cabin fever Today, the only thing more unbearable than lockdown is lockdown with sloppy roommates, who do nothing but complain about each other behind their backs to me, and also bring up past events like a broken record. FML I agree, your life sucks 675 You deserved it 68 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00 Today, on Judge Judy… Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML I agree, your life sucks 1914 You deserved it 98 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 2ndplacechamp - Canada Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML I agree, your life sucks 32464 You deserved it 9425 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 32585 You deserved it 2814 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By theboy6494 - United States Today, I came home early from business trip in Paris, I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of 2 years out and propose to her. I sneak into my house as a surprise and she's having it off with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML I agree, your life sucks 63132 You deserved it 4139 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/4/2020 23:00 Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 1308 You deserved it 503 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bdw89 - United States - Warrensburg Today, my boyfriend of 4 years still can't get it that dry humping me and saying, "But I'm horny" in a goofy voice isn't a turn on. FML I agree, your life sucks 7112 You deserved it 979 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stinkyhair - United States Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 35742 You deserved it 2824 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniGrad2019 - United States - Fredericksburg Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML I agree, your life sucks 21684 You deserved it 1966 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Fall City Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 7465 You deserved it 674 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LasagnaRawks - United Kingdom Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML I agree, your life sucks 34869 You deserved it 3107 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By forever single, I guess - United States Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 37653 You deserved it 3351 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - United States - Gualala Today, while house sitting for my mother and stepfather, their elderly dog passed away. They live in such a remote location, the closest open vet office is a 2 hour drive, and the local one opens in 10 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 2317 You deserved it 149 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Riskreh - United States Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 41160 You deserved it 8810 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML I agree, your life sucks 10884 You deserved it 30972 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 23347 You deserved it 12000 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By qld - Australia - Brisbane Today, I got sunburnt to a crisp on the first day of my holidays away. Only 5 more days to go now, spent inside, trying not to burn more. FML I agree, your life sucks 7171 You deserved it 3513 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poopedon - Canada Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML I agree, your life sucks 49849 You deserved it 18061 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MentalHealthWorker - 17/9/2020 02:05 True hero Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 1410 You deserved it 195 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 05:00 Happy Birthday! Today, I turned 37. My acne turned 24, my eating disorder 22, my chronic digestive issues 35 and my insomnia 16. My boobs, on the other hand, look like they just turned 60. FML I agree, your life sucks 1522 You deserved it 188 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML I agree, your life sucks 30053 You deserved it 2963 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haqL - Mexico - Quer?taro Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML I agree, your life sucks 41453 You deserved it 4874 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML I agree, your life sucks 26976 You deserved it 5525 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By utensils123 - Australia Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML I agree, your life sucks 33245 You deserved it 2284 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Autocorrected - Philippines - Makati Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML I agree, your life sucks 29379 You deserved it 3340 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dweeb WOOF! Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML I agree, your life sucks 1049 You deserved it 601 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 17:00 It's called fashion Dave, look it up! Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 1432 You deserved it 250 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hover Hand - United States - Merchantville Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML I agree, your life sucks 9115 You deserved it 22875 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Boston Today, my friends and I were goofing off playing tag behind the local church, when I heard a banshee-like wail behind me. Assuming it was one of my friends, I wailed right back and ran. Turned out there was actually a funeral going on, and the wail was from one of the bereaved. FML I agree, your life sucks 19243 You deserved it 7847 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Halle - United States Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML I agree, your life sucks 62990 You deserved it 6673 316 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36216 You deserved it 8204 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that while I was in the ICU for having had a life-threatening seizure, my boyfriend was out partying with other girls. His excuse was that he needed to find a new girl if I died. FML I agree, your life sucks 4036 You deserved it 288 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML I agree, your life sucks 10585 You deserved it 35957 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml | 14 #5494902 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:02 Ok, that is just too much. Send a private message 605 11 Reply
By rouh_fml | 4 #5494905 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:03 Hopefully not plugged in! Send a private message 562 11 Reply
By hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml | 14 #5494902 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:02 Ok, that is just too much. Send a private message 605 11 Reply
Reply friedpwnadge | 25 #5494929 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:08 Sounds like she needs to be straightened out. Send a private message 373 3 Reply
Reply JACKxRAWR | 22 #5494952 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:14 Sounded like she was getting hot and heavy. Send a private message 170 8 Reply
Reply groovycrazyjoe | 18 #5495152 - Friday 17 May 2013 2:11 she was just heating up Send a private message 160 2 Reply
Reply kjcamaro3 | 5 #5495499 - Friday 17 May 2013 8:23 You shouldn't have take her dildo Send a private message 5 65 Reply
Reply RedPillSucks | 31 #5495811 - Friday 17 May 2013 16:03 And used it to straighten her hair? Send a private message 26 6 Reply
Reply mattlw | 25 #5496896 - Saturday 18 May 2013 15:50 No need for a heated debate here. I just have one question. Was it plugged in? Oh yeah, I'll bet that was HOT. Send a private message 18 24 Reply
Reply soccerguy90 | 4 #5527746 - Sunday 9 June 2013 23:25 Bahahaha, wow. That was tooooo good!!! Send a private message 2 5 Reply
Reply carnage45567 | 10 #5566543 - Friday 5 July 2013 7:59 Sounds like a pretty heated situation Send a private message 7 3 Reply
Reply ShadowRaptor | 9 #5595246 - Wednesday 24 July 2013 3:26 Oh, she was using it down there? "Well, you know how it is. If you have curly hair you just want straight hair" -Daniel Tosh Send a private message 8 2 Reply
By angiodave | 6 #5494904 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:03 Um, I wouldn't use that curling iron...just sayin!!!
Reply clever_name_here | 7 #5494940 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:11 No shit sherlock Send a private message 236 4 Reply
Reply Flowtastic | 16 #5494993 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:34 Then what would you use? ;) Send a private message 9 100 Reply
Reply carleybeak | 21 #5495019 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:51 #34 A new curling iron. Send a private message 179 2 Reply
Reply JBChristian | 46 #5495310 - Friday 17 May 2013 4:28 Hence the OP's username... Send a private message 58 1 Reply
Reply Fuji76 | 15 #5495340 - Friday 17 May 2013 4:57 Maybe he's curling his nose hairs, Noor! ;) Send a private message 3 60 Reply
Reply FameNFortune | 12 #5495448 - Friday 17 May 2013 6:49 Some people deserve a slap in the face for stupid comments ... Send a private message 55 7 Reply
Reply laughmaster | 9 #5495675 - Friday 17 May 2013 12:38 Did you proofread your comment before posting it? Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Reply angeluv_2014 | 22 #5609549 - Friday 2 August 2013 10:11 I think 34 meant "then what would you use to masterbate with" as making a joke and referring to the dirty sister ;P Send a private message 2 5 Reply
By rouh_fml | 4 #5494905 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:03 Hopefully not plugged in! Send a private message 562 11 Reply
Reply EpicBlondie89 | 19 #5495294 - Friday 17 May 2013 4:23 #79 Umm......what? Send a private message 62 6 Reply
Reply Archay | 13 #5495383 - Friday 17 May 2013 5:30 86, hotdog in a hallway. Send a private message 39 3 Reply
Reply tomatosz | 23 #5495686 - Friday 17 May 2013 12:42 #3 That hurt just thinking about it o.o Send a private message 25 1 Reply
Reply teh3pictroll | 8 #5497217 - Saturday 18 May 2013 21:25 #103 A very long, dark hallway. Send a private message 8 2 Reply
Reply cieloalicia | 16 #5495129 - Friday 17 May 2013 1:50 As Paris Hilton would say.. "That's hot." Send a private message 21 53 Reply
Reply AshaaFerreira | 22 #5495700 - Friday 17 May 2013 13:05 I for 1 don't care about what Paris would say.. Send a private message 9 25 Reply
Reply Crofty92 | 17 #5496926 - Saturday 18 May 2013 16:07 Thanks for sharing that important information with us. We all really needed to know. Genuinely with no sarcasm. Thank you. Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By TrinityisLife | 22 #5494911 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:04 Sure she just didn't want superbouncy pubes? Send a private message 497 11 Reply
Reply gc327072 | 29 #5495169 - Friday 17 May 2013 2:25 She uses her bangs when she bangs. Send a private message 65 6 Reply
Reply EVnIAS | 13 #5494981 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:28 I was thinking the same thing but probably for completely different reasons... Send a private message 56 4 Reply
Reply Olympiakos10 | 15 #5495338 - Friday 17 May 2013 4:57 It's hot in topicaaaa Send a private message 8 17 Reply
Reply world_on_fire | 4 #5495726 - Friday 17 May 2013 13:50 its hot and its hot and its hot *throws remote into the air* Send a private message 6 10 Reply
Reply carobug | 6 #5497252 - Saturday 18 May 2013 22:10 Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends reference? Here, have an upvote. Send a private message 12 1 Reply
By jw90 | 18 #5494915 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:05 Please tell me she was smart enough to not plug it in? Send a private message 126 8 Reply
Reply TheShadyMilkman | 15 #5495889 - Friday 17 May 2013 17:45 Well how else would you get the warming sensation? Send a private message 22 1 Reply
By IscoreOnU | 19 #5494921 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:06 Hey, whatever works. Just uh this is one of those what you don't know won't hurt you things. Still she shouldn't be using yours.. Send a private message 66 2 Reply
Reply ilovedinosawers | 17 #5495262 - Friday 17 May 2013 3:51 I wouldn't want it anymore. "Yeah, you keep that." Send a private message 21 0 Reply
By Pwn17 | 25 #5494923 - Friday 17 May 2013 0:06 Time to buy a new one. Send a private message 71 4 Reply
Reply gabbi630 | 16 #5495073 - Friday 17 May 2013 1:19 Time for her sister to buy a new one! Send a private message 25 3 Reply
Reply little_one | 20 #5495894 - Friday 17 May 2013 17:50 Buy that girl a dildo already! My god you can get some for $10 and it's a hell of a lot better and cheaper than a curling iron! Check your phone too... She may have been using it on vibrate... Send a private message 11 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 115 8 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 519 You deserved it 411 6 Comments