Jaws
France
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
mary
Australia
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Anonymous
Cincinnati, United States
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
foreveralone
Franklin Park, United States
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
oops
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
happybidet
United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
what did I do?
San Francisco, United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
wray16
United States
Love hurts
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
DwarfFrog
United States
Why so serious?
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Anonymous
Saint Louis, United States
He was a very good boy
Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Top comments
imonaboat79 2
pro tip: always check with your lady first before eating the last bit of chocolate in the house. bad things can happen when you don't.
sweet_candy_ 17
Banana peels are not that hard. You big baby.
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Comments (175)
T552 12
You clearly deserve this, because everyone knows you're not allowed to have your cake and eat it too.
T552 12
Google it.
lucy_lue 9
The reason you loathe it is because it's WRONG. The actual saying is 'You can't eat your cake and have it, too'. Somewhere along the lines, it got swapped. You can totally have a cake and then eat it, but you can't eat a cake and then have it.
Mirequetz 6
THANK YOU! It's "You cannot eat your cake and have it too" because after you eat it, it's gone. Why do people always get it backwards?!
lucy_lue 9
I'm not sure, but it really bugs me for some reason. :|
ktdad07 0
The point of the saying is that you can't do both simultaneously. If you want to keep the cake, you can't eat it. If you eat the cake, you won't have it. Therefore, the order really doesn't matter and the common saying makes perfect sense.
hedgerow 0
Kinky!
itzthomas 0
Epic lol that is what you get for finishing her cake. You fatass
christina95922 0
Actually she might be the fat ass because she was so pissed that the last piece of cake was gone. lol
JanisEvans 10
Are you insane? You clearly don't know the first thing about women. :D
allmidnighteyes 11
Are you dating Donkey Kong?
Faleni 4
lol win for 17
CommonSenseKarma 17
Upchuck the cake. It's the best option. You're both happy. She gets chocolate cake, and you get 3 lbs. lighter.
perdix 31
Slap her in the face with your skin banana. Fair's fair.
skate4life753 0
*banana skin
UpsidedownKayak 9
Skate4life753, Perdix meant what he said, don't fix what isn't broke.
emjay09 0
skate4life, do you live under a rock?
xSundae 6
53, What do you think you're doing? 'correcting' THE perdix? You should honestly just make a new account to avoid humiliation such as: 'That's the kid who tried to correct perdix. Shun him!' Gooood day, sir.
DocBastard 40
The only reason she used a banana is because she doesn't have a penis. Does she?
califormula 0
Is that an innuendo?
allmidnighteyes 11
Innuendo? In YOUR endo.
veesky 0
omg #25 thats EXACTLY wat i thought as soon as i saw it!!!
ragne 0
YDI, everyone knows chocolate is a womans property :)
tamoodielovesmar 1
ahh!!!! my trampoline is up.... btw im only 10