Miscellaneous: Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana... - FML

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 38 581

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 5 514

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 230

You deserved it 7 147

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 1 784

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 2 544

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 1 891

Next

Top comments

imonaboat79 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:18

pro tip: always check with your lady first before eating the last bit of chocolate in the house. bad things can happen when you don't.

sweet_candy_ 17

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:17

Banana peels are not that hard. You big baby.

Comments

sadistmonkey 19

Friday 11 February 2011 0:13

I can't say YDI or FYL without knowing more facts. What proportion of the total cake did you eat? If the girl actually got to have some cake, did she ask you for permission to eat it? Whose cake was it?

quite_bored 9

Friday 11 February 2011 0:15

I have just officially lost all hope in Humanity.

Nitial 6

Friday 11 February 2011 0:21

The cake is a lie.

TheDrop 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:16

translation of OP's FML: "i am dating a selfish and abusive fat girl" FML.

jess6blondie9 2

Friday 11 February 2011 1:27

94, just because a girl likes her cake, doesn't mean she's fat!

talktomandybaby 8

Friday 11 February 2011 1:28

hahahahahahah.this made me laugh so hard.

Athga 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:48

every man needs to know when to not mess with her chocolate

trappedinthevoid 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:49

...marry her.

guppy40000 0

Friday 11 February 2011 1:52

She shouldnt be so violent. Is she pregnant by chance? Cake and Chocolate womans best friend?

harbqll 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:11

Slap her back, dump the silly twit, and go find a girlfriend that isn't ****** in the head. This ain't rocket science.

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Jewelry Awkward Fight Kids Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 7 123

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 68 067

The Top

Today, I got up early to go to the gym before work. As I was walking to my car, I slipped on a patch of what appeared to be a patch of wet moss and fell, spraining my ankle. Not only did I have to miss my workout, but I had to call in sick to work and spend the day at home, hobbling around with a swollen ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 119

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 400

You deserved it 3 273

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 2 734

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 3 269

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 098

You deserved it 3 173

Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 250