Miscellaneous: Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana... - FML

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 38 581

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 5 514

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 230

You deserved it 7 147

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 1 784

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 2 544

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 1 891

Next

Top comments

imonaboat79 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:18

pro tip: always check with your lady first before eating the last bit of chocolate in the house. bad things can happen when you don't.

sweet_candy_ 17

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:17

Banana peels are not that hard. You big baby.

Comments

sunnysurfchick 0

Friday 11 February 2011 12:12

your a big ass baby. oohh she slapped you with a banana peel, so lame dude. she's even more lame for being that upset over cake. I bet her fat ass don't need any more cake!

BikeAllDay818 6

Friday 11 February 2011 12:33

you should have took the banana and threw it on the floor, then proceeding in some sweet kitchen counter sex.

soundingriot 6

Friday 11 February 2011 12:41

I agree with 86. Wow. Yes, bananas have skin. it's that thing you peel off a banana before you eat it.

soundingriot 6

Friday 11 February 2011 12:43

and you know girls don't have foreskin, right? so she couldn't slap him with one.....

kayPandastyle 15

Friday 11 February 2011 12:57

I lol'd its kinda funny I can sooo see that happening

lgxii 0

Friday 11 February 2011 13:22

you do know he's just joking right? lighten up bro

tundraman07 0

Friday 11 February 2011 13:38

did u get a splitting headache?? haha

Zebidee 8

Friday 11 February 2011 13:47

That's gold.

MissDuck91 2

Friday 11 February 2011 15:00

slap her with your banana :P

graceless_monkey 0

Friday 11 February 2011 18:16

lol. that comment made my day

graceless_monkey 0

Friday 11 February 2011 18:19

To all the people who suggested the gf was fat: Skinny people love chocolate cake too

VikingPrincess19_fml 9

Friday 11 February 2011 22:34

NEVER touch a woman's chocolate cake, EVER! YDI

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 609

You deserved it 5 760

The Top

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 941

You deserved it 4 251

Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 682

You deserved it 898

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 4 594

Today, none of my family was at home. Turns out my one of my aunts was having a birthday party and all my relatives went, but nobody told me because they don’t like me coming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 259

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 874

You deserved it 3 825

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 3 224