Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
My chocolate
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Love hurts
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Why so serious?
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
He was a very good boy
Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Top comments
imonaboat79 2
pro tip: always check with your lady first before eating the last bit of chocolate in the house. bad things can happen when you don't.
sweet_candy_ 17
Banana peels are not that hard. You big baby.
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Comments (175)
sunnysurfchick 0
your a big ass baby. oohh she slapped you with a banana peel, so lame dude. she's even more lame for being that upset over cake. I bet her fat ass don't need any more cake!
BikeAllDay818 6
you should have took the banana and threw it on the floor, then proceeding in some sweet kitchen counter sex.
soundingriot 6
I agree with 86. Wow. Yes, bananas have skin. it's that thing you peel off a banana before you eat it.
soundingriot 6
and you know girls don't have foreskin, right? so she couldn't slap him with one.....
kayPandastyle 15
I lol'd its kinda funny I can sooo see that happening
lgxii 0
you do know he's just joking right? lighten up bro
tundraman07 0
did u get a splitting headache?? haha
Zebidee 9
That's gold.
MissDuck91 2
slap her with your banana :P
graceless_monkey 0
lol. that comment made my day
graceless_monkey 0
To all the people who suggested the gf was fat: Skinny people love chocolate cake too
VikingPrincess19_fml 9
NEVER touch a woman's chocolate cake, EVER! YDI