Miscellaneous: Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana... - FML

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 38 581

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 725

You deserved it 6 417

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 5 514

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 230

You deserved it 7 147

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 1 784

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 326

You deserved it 2 544

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 1 891

Next

Top comments

imonaboat79 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:18

pro tip: always check with your lady first before eating the last bit of chocolate in the house. bad things can happen when you don't.

sweet_candy_ 17

Thursday 10 February 2011 19:17

Banana peels are not that hard. You big baby.

Comments

something224 6

Friday 11 February 2011 2:39

Dump that fat bitch!

EvilSpirt 5

Friday 11 February 2011 3:01

I would of did more than a banana peel. I would have tied you to ur bed and slap you then leave you. TEACH YA TO MESS WITH MA CAKE!!!!

NotBree 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:49

My girlfriend's banana skin may bruise my face, but whips and chains excite me..?

jrsgreenfire257 0

Friday 11 February 2011 3:05

Ya fat f u c k

MusicLover1o1_fml 0

Friday 11 February 2011 3:40

No bananna love for you!!!

monkeebalz 0

Friday 11 February 2011 3:45

is that what the kids are calling it these days?

demetrius19 7

Friday 11 February 2011 4:00

she trippin, lol it gets the hose

DRIEAM 0

Friday 11 February 2011 4:14

what the **** is with these bullshit fml's today?

dansco 24

Friday 11 February 2011 4:19

FML why exactly? You shagging a monkey?!

joetan 16

Friday 11 February 2011 4:33

it's a cake on a stick!!

iwishicould 7

Friday 11 February 2011 4:41

y'all are so immature. don't go calling either of them fat just because they eat cake, I'm sure all of you wouldn't be very happy if somebody ate your cake. besides, chocolate is a girls best friend.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

The Top

Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 111

You deserved it 1 462

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 8 983

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 064

You deserved it 3 101

Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 283

You deserved it 3 036

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 123

You deserved it 2 428

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 577

You deserved it 5 224