By Anonymous - 08/04/2015 10:52 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 819
You deserved it 18 825

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Aren't you supposed to share a bed with him? I thought that was one of the reasons to get married.

Why is it totally on the husband? Maybe she's the one with issues.

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Why is it totally on the husband? Maybe she's the one with issues.

Yeah what's with this sexism? Why do you automatically assume the male is at fault?

They could simply have different body clocks - one is more of a night owl than the other, or one of them might snore loudly and they sleep apart so that the non-snorer can sleep better.

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My grandparents not only slept in different beds, but they each had their own room for as long as I can remember. I personally find it really weird, but some couples do it.

You don't know that the husband didn't have problems with sleeping with her. And why is it that people would flip out if you were saying the wife is doing something wrong but no one cares when it's about the husband.

I really get tired of hearing how its always the mans fault and how apparently women can't ever do anything wrong because thats bullshit. Maybe they like sleeping in separate beds or possibly even rooms, my grandparents slept in the same bed for years and then decided to move and sleep in their own separate rooms, I think it's a little strange and probably won't ever do it myself, but hey, if that's how they like I say more power to them.

I usually flip out when I witness male/husband/boyfriend bashing, and I'm a girl. Obviously, there are two sides to every story, and then there's the truth. I was a horrible wife, because my ex was a horrible husband. But I am an amazing girlfriend, because I have an amazing boyfriend. No way on earth I'd bash him for his faults, and he's got many, because if you truly love someone, you accept the imperfections that make them perfect. That's my opinion anyway. Love is a two-way street.

I sleep in a different room from my hubby. There is nothing wrong with our marriage. Our toddlers can't sleep well when alone, so they sleep in our bedroom. Motherly instinct prevents me from sleeping deeply with them in the room and my lighter sleep means I get woken up by my hubby's snoring so I sleep in the kid's room until they are ready to sleep there. It's how we maximize every family member's sleep time.

Sense. You spoke it.

Chill out, maybe he has a problem with snoring. My mom hasn't slept with my dad in years because of his snoring, doesn't mean something is the matter. She also dreads getting company for that reason.

It strongly depends ... if she isn't giving him the sex he needs (and resents sleeping in the same bed because he might want sex), then it's clearly her fault for not being GGG. There are also blameless factors such as snoring, differing sleep needs (4 hours vs 10 hours can be devastating to both) or shifts at work.

The problem would be as his snoring. My aunt and uncle sleep in different rooms because he snores so loud it keeps her awake. They hangout at night and when ones tired the other goes to their room. They have a really good relationship too

There are many people that sleep separately. Especially after middle age.

How do you know it's him that's doing something wrong and not her?

What does any of that have to do with the OP and her post?

Aw, that sounds really sad. Marriage counseling, possibly? Depends on what happened to make you feel this way, I suppose. I hope everything works out.

I agree with #3. My parents went through a rough patch where they just couldn't agree on anything but talking about it with someone who is unbiased can make a huge difference. Hopefully everything works out for the best OP

Aren't you supposed to share a bed with him? I thought that was one of the reasons to get married.

Some people decide to have separate beds, sometimes even separate rooms.

Maybe the Husband snores.

You can share a bed with someone and not be married. Conversely, you can get married for other, more practical reasons like taxes and health insurance.

I could definitely see it being the snoring thing. I don't live with my boyfriend yet but if we do live together one day I'm honestly not sure how I'll be able to cope with the snoring every night. Or maybe OP is just someone who likes a lot of space when they sleep

You get used to it and sleep right on through. mine is the scorer to beat all snorers. When he, his father, and his grandma get together, the windows rattle.

I'm right there with the snoring thing. My parents have separate rooms at different ends of the house because my Dad snores like a damn chainsaw. I share a wall with him and it's too much. Unfortunately for my sanity however, I'm well aware that they still have a healthy sex life and a great relationship.

#43 i wouldn't say get used to it. Me and my boyfriend spend most nights together and I struggle a lot with his snoring. It sucks really but I have a form of insomnia and am also a very light sleeper. So it does cause me issues unfortunately

I'm sorry, but here is how I imagine getting married for tax reasons: Man and woman go out for nice dinner, movie, etc. after dinner, man gets down on one knee, looks lovingly into woman's eyes, and says, "Babe, I want to save money on taxes for the rest of my life with you! Will you marry me?" Everyone in the restaurant proceeds to stare awkwardly as the woman jumps in excitement at the thought of saving money.

My mom works for a lady who lives in a completely separate house from her husband. it's super cute. also, my grandparents have been sleeping in separate rooms forever because my grandpa snores super loud.

My parents have separate bedrooms because my dad snores and thrashes.

Isa_fml 20

LOL how precious.

58, that sounds...sexier than a typical proposal to me, actually. But then again, I do not have a romantic bone in my body, nor do I want to get married!

if that's the reason you want to marry, you're either young or stupid. I've shared my bed with many women, even after I got married. That's not the main reason to get married ... it is a perk that most of the nights, I have someone to cuddle. It's not a reason to get a marriage license though ... I had that for years before I married her and years. Heck, I had that for years before I even met her ...

Communication is key to any relationship. Hope everything works out OP.

What?!? Maybe you shouldn't be married if you don't even want to sleep in the same bed as him

Not necessarily. I've known couples who are great together and genuinely care about each other but prefer not to sleep together for whatever reason (someone snores, they have different sleep schedules, one's just not a cuddler, etc.). Doesn't mean anything's wrong with the marriage...in fact, depending on the couple, sleeping separately might even strengthen it.

Well it'd make sense if they didn't want to sleep next to each other, but actually being upset about having to is another story.

My parents sometimes don't even sleep in the same house, let alone the same bed. And they're one of the happiest couples I know. They have an apartment in the city in addition to their home. They also both go on business trips a lot. Are you suggesting my dad and stepmom get a divorce because they don't spend every single moment of their lives together?

People seem to be missing that op is "disappointed" that she has to sleeps with her husband, which suggests that they don't have a happy marriage. If op's issue was only that the husband snores then I think it would've said so in the FML. It definitely sounds like they're in an unhappy marriage to me. Op, try going for counselling, there's no reason for you guys to have to live so unhappily together.

Sleeping in different beds is more common than you think. I've met many pilot/stewardesses couples who practice this. It keeps their erratic work schedules from affecting their sleep schedules.

Lol maybe they're so happy because they have other "sleeping" partners.

He's your husband, why are you already NOT sharing a need with him?

He could snore really loud. He could have to get up really early. He could take up w lot of space in the bed. These can make a person upset and want to sleep in different rooms.

Is it something small like he's a kicker? Or something more serious like you guys haven't spoken in a while? Either way, both sound like unpleasant situations to be in. Maybe it's time for a talk.

Maybe he isn't really the one for you if that disappoints you. you should always be happy to be with him

Wow... You guys sound so happily married...