By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 964
You deserved it 12 240

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Better late than never... No but really that sucks I'm sorry OP

At least you're not your girlfriend.. she has that stuck in her mouth! Ummm eww?


Better late than never... No but really that sucks I'm sorry OP

Hey at least you don't have a hospital bill to pay off.

Not sure that this fml is really possible, I would think Op would be in shock after that and in the hospitol for a couple of days. Lol.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

36- technically he does he has to go and get it stiched up

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

I think OP means pecker wrecker

that's quite convenient I hope you payed your gf for the trouble of strippen your disco stick.

BarDownDaily 12

It could be worse, you could have already been circumcised before this happened...

Did anyone else have the jaws theme music pop into their head after reading this FML ?

36 op lives in Canada he would've got it for free anyway

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

How'd I get thumbed down so many times? I am correct

FunnyGuy5051 7

if it helps op my doc messed up when I was a baby doing mine and he had to redo it

monkeysareyummy 0

I think she wanted to treat it like a band-aid.. Doesn't hurt as much if you rip it off faster.. But in this case..

Did you finish? I hope she took a shot of vodka to sterilize the wound?

The mental image of this happening just made me hate braces.

bobbycorwen 5

Too bad she didn't give you the opportunity to brace yourself. Yeah? No? Okay... :(

notthatbad1 6

Clean or not it was free, it's hard to get something for free these days lol

It's better than having an awkward flap of penis skin.

GoW_Chick 14

Yeah OP your girlfriend was doing you a favor by fixing that for you now you're clean cut so there's a silver lining to this FML.

I agree. It's about time he was circumcised. It's for his own good ;)

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Braces is made out of mercury not silver just saying lol

angry_anonymous 5

I don't think what braces were made of was ever mentioned...? And how does this even happen to someone? like did she bite down or something? ouch.

angry_anonymous 5

Where is what material braces are made out of ever brought up here? And OP did she bite down and pull or something? Ouch. (Sorry if this is almost a repost, my other comment wasn't there when I posted this)

Llamacod 11

Uhh, dipshit, braces are not made of mercury. Fillings used to be made of mercury a long time ago, but since mercury is toxic some smart guy decided maybe mercury wasn't a good idea to put in peoples mouths

Hey 53, mercury kills. They're titanium and space steel and platinum and stuff, depending on how drastic of a treatment you need

#53, even forgetting and ignoring the fact that mercury's toxic, did you never notice in those neat mercury thermometers that go as low as -40 degrees, that the mercury isn't frozen solid? Know why? Cause mercury doesn't change state into a solid from a liquid at that temperature, much more the warm temp of your mouth, you twit! With all the respect and love in the world, my young had an idiotic moment, and ended up sounding very stupid. Sorry, but true. :p

Circumcision is mutilation. You lose nerve endings and moisture during sex. Why take away a piece of skin that's so beneficial just for a stupid superficial reason? You were born with foreskin. There's no reason to take it away. FYL, op

Braces are stainless steel or the clear ones are ceramic. Mercury is lethal liquid metal.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Yes I was going of data from awhile back my bad and ik perfect grammar I just don't care to use it on fml since there's lil panzys who care

oooooi. "and stuff" way to be technical. if ur gunna correct someone u should sound like u actually know what ur talking about........... gawsh

lindseykcool 6

Does anyone else find it ironic when someone trying to insult another spells "grammar" wrong?

lindseykcool 6

Does anyone else find it ironic when someone trying to insult another spells grammar wrong?

lindseykcool 6

Oops, double post. It didn't show up the first time. Hit that thumbs down. :)

yes as others have said mercury is dangerous the glued hat makers use had mercury and made them go insane thus the term mad hatter *fun fact*

Ya let's mutilate all body parts that look useless off new born babies. Little toes, chop them off. Ears, they look funny and awkward. Off with them. Eye lids, well there is an awkward flap of skin. Let's cut them off too. Male nipples, why don't we mutilate these too? Do females need a ********? No not really, let's start chopping them off too.

143- *pansies. And please, before you call all of FML pansies, please acknowledge that you have the hair and muscular definition of Justin Bieber. That's all.

mstangchck 9

Circumcision should be the guys choice. After all he has to live with it not the parents.

227 - Here's the problem with that logic: by the time the guy is old enough to make the decision, he would require anesthesia and a surgeon to perform it. The alternative is to do it shortly after birth. I watched my son get circumcised at 1 day old with just a bit of numbing cream, and he never screamed or showed any hint of pain. And anyone who knows newborns know that they scream with minimal provocation.

Actually circumsision was brought around (old testimant times) because the forskin grew all kinds of nasty fungal stuff in there cuz nobody bathed too often. Now its just a matter of differentiating yourself from others and really isnt that big of a deal but honestly i think it looks cleaner and ask any girl. She'd perfer to not be faced with a hooded warrior. :p

? I don't watch a thousand ways to die

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

202- so ur insulting how I look? Well u look like somebody who has a ***** shoved up their ass

GoW_Chick 14

My profile picture is me in front of a mirror ... Awwww Damn it :(

RevolverMonroe0 0

229 - Yes, but either way, it's a man's choice whether or not to get circumcised, it shouldn't be made by his parents. That's just the same as removing a woman's ********. She doesn't have the choice, that isn't fair. It's considered mutilation when it's against women, but it's perfectly fine that my/your/his parents want to cut off a piece of their son's body.

I have never had the desire to have a foreskin and I'm perfectly fine without one

Torva_fml 16

TActually Mr, Dakota, dillion looks quite sexy, and does NOT look like he has anything up his ass.... Im scared to ask as to why you would know what that looks like, but I assume it's from looking in the mirror to often.

229 - if someone really wants to take practice in a thousand year old Jewish tradition involving mutilation of their penis, then they should go ahead and do it when they are an adult. Parents have absolutely no right to remove body parts from their newborn for no medical reason, regardless of wether they can feel it or not.

227- I've done so many medical transcription reports of grown men having to get circumcised as adults because of infections. Would you honestly prefer that? Perhaps it could be considered one of the many things parents do that hurt their children for the short term to prevent future problems? Sort of like vaccinations.

Llamacod 11

Actually 194, in a few african cultures clitoral mutilation is quite common

254- no. That's a myth. The foreskin is analogous to the clitoral hood, not the ********. It's not an "organ", nor does it serve any real purpose. There are theories about its purpose, but despite years or research, nothing has been shown conclusively. It remains a choice. Saying that parents have "no right" is utter horse manure. If we didn't have a right to do it, it would be outlawed.

261 try 3000 year old tradition. And doc, since society didn't outlaw it that means it's moral?

HotDog300 8

It’s literally the way you’re born

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
mstangchck 9

Because not everyone has good teeth and they need braces?

Maybe she wants straight teeth? No shit Sherlock!

I think these comments should be expected when there are FMLs about sex and braces. It never fails.

chickenpie90 16
chels1994 11

why don't you have a better question?

Torva_fml 16

Wow, a 21 year old from my country is really stupid enough to ask this? I'm leaving...

Britter903 6

Dumbass!!! Leave this country now!!! Leave!!! Go be stupid somewhere else!!!

Whenever multiple people gang up on one commenter for their painfully stupid post, I've always wondered: Does that one person read the replies, and realizing their mistake, just ignore the comments in shame? I'm hoping #4 will reply, see what she thinks now.

leogirl95 12

I wore braces for 4 1/2 years because I had jacked up teeth. Asshole.

Awesome_Guy2468 0

Get away from Andy he's MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

177 so if she just got her adult teeth she's like 12.

chane1100 6

Lol@the people talking shit.. You idiots do understand he's implying adolescents have braces which would make his girlfriend quite young and possibly underage..

Did ur dad not teach u not 2 get head from a metal mouth?

GoW_Chick 14

Obvisouly he missed that session with dear ole dad probably out with "metal mouth"

rawrr61 4

At least he's getting head. He's doing better than you

Did your dad not teach you to write correctly #6?

borkchop1992 15

not as bad as the guy who got circumcised by his zipper

Strangely this is the same thing that happened to Quagmire

seriouslythat 6

I heard that comment in Brians voice...

No Op should have been proud and said, "Doc I was getting a bj and this happened!"

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! OOOOWWWWW!!!! It's hurts just reading about it!!!!

mom2pen 4

I'm a woman and I felt for the guy.