Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML
Today, I'd like to thank Alexa for my notification, saying ”You bought a 4-pound bag of Jawbreakers recently, would you like to share your feedback with Amazon prime customers?" My wife heard the message and laughed. FML
Today, I was wondering why the new book series I'd ordered hadn’t arrived. I ordered new books because my mom constantly bitched at me about being on the internet too often. She took my laptop away to "teach me a lesson". Only I need my laptop to get the confirmation number to track my books. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML
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Top comments
hXcsoccerplaya 0
wow shows that some people are incapable of faithfulness. FYL buddy
SemiRetarded 0
Ouch. Thanks for the constant reminder Amazon. I can't believe all the shitty comments people make over someones spelling mistakes. THANKS FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY!!!!
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Comments (195)
awong25 0
that's so sad
pedotroll 0
why does my auto capitalization not work on this POS app?
D3kl3 0
rofl rofl rofl
lifejsucks 0
how selfish could a girl be to break up with a guy because hes overseas? hes fighting so she can be free.. selfish ex
joshhh11 0
there's also an amazing thig called shut the **** up too! :o
perdix 31
Did she keep your balls in a jar stateside? No? Then what's the problem? Hell, when you get back, Kindles will look like lame jokes compared to the world-dominating iPad. While I may kick your ass for looking like a pussy in this case, I thank you for your brave service to our country.
joshhh11 0
:(
boopityboppity 11
Sorry, snickerdoodles, but that's the only thing you've ever said that I don't agree with. The iPad isn't a stupid invention; wait until the apps start coming out for it. Oh, and perdix deserves his own religion. OP: FYL. That really does suck.
joshhh11 0
:(
perdix 31
Sorry, snick, but the iPad will change the world. You consume content on an iPhone and iPod Touch (yeah, I said it ;)), but on the iPad you will be able to consume and CREATE content. You'll be able to edit photos, documents, movies and audio on an iPad infinitely better than you could with the smaller devices. Can you imagine the possibilities of being able to use both hands and being able to see the screen? For example, you could move and rotate a 3d model with your left hand while sculpting it with your right. It's gonna be huge!
o0XMzMayX0o 0
lol like u would hun dnt worry stick to ur life I highly dubt any of u guys will get far!
alexisthename 0
^ Nice.
metazoanhaddock 11
I now officially call to order the first meeting of the church of our saviour, perdix. all who wish to join this new religion, please just state your desire to do so.
Lattenkiste 0
The iPad really is just a big iTouch. No camera, no phone. Just a bigger screen and a little more processing power. It would be better to just get a tablet PC
bonesbaby 0
Spelling fail:)
containsnosoy 0
I'm sorry, but a gift is a gift. It sucks what happened and (if she dumped you on Christmas) she should have been respectful and gave her gift from you back to you, but it's immature to hold what you gave to someone against them as if it was their fault you gave it to them in the first place.
morella_xx 29
I think what he's really complaining about here is the stinging reminder of how he spent money on an expensive gift for someone who left him soon after. He didn't say anything about expecting her to return it.
Lattenkiste 0
indeed
kaleyyy 0
butch!!
CheshireHalli 19
Someone's hostile. What'd Snick ever do to you? Nothing? Then shut the **** up. =) Have a nice day.