Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML
Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML
Today, I'd like to thank Alexa for my notification, saying ”You bought a 4-pound bag of Jawbreakers recently, would you like to share your feedback with Amazon prime customers?" My wife heard the message and laughed. FML
Today, I was wondering why the new book series I'd ordered hadn’t arrived. I ordered new books because my mom constantly bitched at me about being on the internet too often. She took my laptop away to "teach me a lesson". Only I need my laptop to get the confirmation number to track my books. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML
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Top comments
hXcsoccerplaya 0
wow shows that some people are incapable of faithfulness. FYL buddy
SemiRetarded 0
Ouch. Thanks for the constant reminder Amazon. I can't believe all the shitty comments people make over someones spelling mistakes. THANKS FOR SERVING OUR COUNTRY!!!!
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Comments (195)
PattisonDaStud 0
it's iPod touch u fuckheads
prplfrk22 2
Ha andreyaxo r u brit ish ninny haha thats a funny word
wow18 3
Why is everyone calling the OP's ex gf a bitch? The op bought his gf a gift, but she was pretty much over him and broke up with him. I don't see how she did anything wrong? I was dating a guy who broke up with me the day after valentines day and this was after i bought him presents and gave it to him. He didn't get me anything for v-day and neither did he return any of what i gave him and i didn't care. I gave him a gift, and gifts are not suppose to be returned. The situation does suck for the OP here because his money/Kindle is gone and so is a girl he liked, but he can't be upset at her for this. Do any of you return all the gifts you were given by a gf/bf after you break up?
Lattenkiste 0
You weren't in Iraq living in the sand and shooting rag heads when he broke up with you now were you? Life is about more than you sweetheart
jjcooper 0
it's overseas
Jacksgirl 1
Amazing... 157 comments and only TWO thanked Tony for his service!! You've spent ALL this time debating the merits of iWhateveryouwannacallit and two nanoseconds thanking this man for risking HIS life so you have the privilege of HAVING your argument. Any woman who would leave her man while he is deployed isn't worth the air she breathes. She knew what she was in for when she signed on with him. SO, Tony, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!
wow18 3
wow wtf!!! It's not like she married him right away. How else will she really know what it's like without trying it out first by just dating. Plus they could have been dating before and then he decided that he's going to join the marines, army etc. and now she has to be the one who loses something. He gets the job he wants and has a girl waiting for him when ever he comes home. She's the one who has to wait for him. Plus what makes you think she broke up with him only because he's over seas? maybe it was because they don't have a good relationship anymore and she just doesn't like him.
wh4t3v3R 0
We already thanked him for his service with the money we paid him to buy his new kindle which....oh, oh jeez, sorry.
theycallmemiri 0
...yikes!!!
harryman04 0
when I am speaking I say iPod touch because that is how Apple calls it. however when I am typing I will say itouch, just cause it is faster to say.
jgill87 0
Oversees?
CrimzonRayne 9
YDI for spelling overseas wrong.
cindebaby 0
that suckssss