Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
Punishing kids for blatant honesty. Gotta love society.
Hacksaw 4
Kids say the darnedest things.
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Comments (180)
hXcsoccerplaya 0
well mrmad, I'm white and what would 5 year old whites get I'd they were suspended? don't worry I'm not calling racist and I don't plan to.
MrMaD_fml 2
a slap on the wrist? lol
kisseshugsdrugs 5
thats hilarious. your daughter winsssss!
Vilya_fml 4
That girl probably doesn't even know what "****" means! When I was 4, I used to say a lot of words I learned from my friends' older siblings and didn't know what they meant, even "****", and my parents never say it nor did it in front of me (yuk, I've wrong mental pics, now!)
SenGaeriel 3
I had to put this one on my faves because it's hysterical! I do think it's rather harsh for the preschool to suspend your daughter just for saying that word. She probably doesn't even know what it means and the school should know that. Think of this as an opportunity to put your daughter into a better preschool.
loveyahun 0
wow Hun...maybeh you should lock the door next time, or send her to a friends house...
totalFAILandYDI 0
my new favorite. oh man I love yr kid!!! XD
pinkkloverr 0
i don't know why... but for some reason this fml reminded me of the scene in the orphan where the mom/kate talks to esther (after seeing kate and john in the kitchen) and esther says, "i know. they f***." hahaha sounds like you need to have a talk with your kid about what you were doing so they'll understand. or just not do those things when they're around.
vanilla2u 5
lmao me too
lisa1234 0
I work in a preschool and you can definitely get suspended or kicked out due to behaviour. It's not unheard of at all. That said, I think this is hilarious.
Melisaaaa 0
OMG this is hilarious. I would've loved to see her teachers face when she said this. haha. And seriously get off her ass just because the child knows the word '****' doesn't mean she knows what it means or that her parents are doing this in front of her. Younger kids pick up on things and without knowing what they mean they use them.
Karchev_The_Teri 0
she probably ment suck