Keep schtum
Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML
Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML
Today, after months of dealing with homophobic abuse for my coworkers and supervisors at my previous job, I was excited to start my new job where most of my co-workers were LGBTQ. I find out a majority of them don't like me because my fiancé is a deputy sheriff. FML
Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss's daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Top comments
JocelynKaulitz 28
Stay in the straight closet then.
FFML_314 12
Learn to embrace your flamboyant nature. Time to buy some pink.
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Comments (112)
JocelynKaulitz 28
Stay in the straight closet then.
craphappened 4
Um, say you're Bi?
nobody_u_ko 0
haha good idea
the101dan 0
yep, #1 ftw
pohkerfayce 0
lol!! act gay!
bigblue95 0
damn homosexuals...
sixtimessix 0
maybe you should just become gay. giver a try. I mean you got nothing to lose. I say go for it!
ThinIce 0
I'd rather die than be gay. Fyl OP.
bigblue95 0
i agree 18. so wrong
ilovenerds_ 1
You know... It's alright to come out of the closet. They will all accept you :)
Florence_ 0
**** all the homophobics. Really.
0opsie 6
#5: That's a good idea, actually.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
#18 & #19--Who cares about your narrow minded attitudes. Isn't there a Klan rally you should be getting ready for?
ceejster 0
in the military, you can be discharged if someone finds out your gay.
Jessi2487 0
22- smh
bigblue95 0
25...im black
BelleElle_fml 5
27 - Is that true?
FFML_314 12
32...you're blue.
justmeagirl 0
Dare them to fire you for being straight- you'd get enough from the sexual harassment and discrimination suit to be set for life and never have to work again!
ThinIce 0
33 yes it's true.
ThinIce 0
25, AiDS would have been less of an issue if it weren't for gay people in the 70's. It may not have originated from them, but obviously the break-out did.
FFML_314 12
Mono would have been less of an issue had all those people stopped kissing each other. I think that was sometime in the early 1800s. I could be wrong! Asshole.
BritishHobo 0
What #35 said. They can't fire you based on your sexual preference, so just confess the next chance you get. It'll look worse if you lie. And if they do fire you... you've got a pretty damn good case.
bigblue95 0
34 that may be tru but still no coloreds allowed in the klan
FFML_314 12
Well if you're black, you won't have to worry. Black and white aren't colors. They're shades.
bigblue95 0
touche...but not according to the kkk
Sweetest_Cherry 0
Um.... not any longer.... you can/will get your arse kicked by homophobes. They got rid of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy (at least with USArmed Forces). Believe me, I just took a survey with my Command about it... Most are pissed. I don't see the big deal though
BallinJ 0
what if your boss says to prove you are gay by sucking his ****
ucofresh 4
Lol.. How ironic. it's usually us gays worried about getting fired! Funny story.
ucofresh 4
And, thinice, we'd rather die than you be gay too! you ignorant prick.
shellytaliaaxxx 0
If i were you id let tem think what they want. times are hard haha whether they think your gay/straight/bi is not worth losing your job over
junkboy 4
22- **** all the homophobics? well you probably would **** them. in their asses. you ****. xD
turkeymonster39 0
I agree with 22. people need to be more open minded and less ignorant:/ homosexuals are still normal people.
romskiies 0
it's homophobes. and i thought the military were still conducting surveys or tests on repealing that rule?
supernice 0
just because you think being gay is wrong does not mean you are narrow minded. I have gay friends, but I still think it is wrong and unnatural. and it is unnatural because it is natural to reproduce, something a by couple can not do.
KiddNYC1O 22
16- quit trying to recruit people
Oster_fml 0
****, you got to loose the pussy
FFML_314 12
This is how I feel. I don't think the sexuality of another person is anyones business but that persons. We should be supporting our fellow man/woman. Regardless of sexual orientation. I know this is a losing battle. This is the kind of topic that you can't argue, because people will never change their views. If you believe something is wrong, you are entitled to have your opinion, but when something is completely out of another persons control, is it really necessary to intentionally hurt that person? Do you think people choose to be hated? It's obviously something that can't be helped. Some people are incredibly narrow minded, when they believe their way is right. Just because you don't believe it's right, doesn't mean it's wrong. If you don't like it, turn another cheek. Hopefully people learn to grow up and understand that times have changed. Stop being so stuck in what you read. Learn to live your life freely and love who you are.
jjpavo 0
to the people being mean to gays.... qhats wrong with gays? im not gay but i think everyone is equal so **** off cuz its rude. the only thing i hate more than making fun of homosexuals is making fun of someones religion/belief or racism
nickf227 0
@78 Wow, you're not that great of a friend then, are you?
bigblue95 0
ur religion is stupid
ccf91 3
@ 27 - you cant get discharged for being gay. You can get discharged for committing a homosexual act
mattmalin11 0
That's when you go into their office, admit to being straight, and exclaim "free at last, free at last, thank the good lord almighty I am free at last!"
DinoPirate 0
lot more homophobia on fml than I thought there'd be... I feel like I'm in the comments section of YouTube I'd really like to hear an argument against homosexuality that goes beyond "it's unnatural" which is obviously untrue.
rfngxhhshi 0
I think that sexual orientation is definitely something that should be free, but i do think that, yes this sounds stupid: Gay people should be less gay In public. I agree everyone has the right to express themselves via clothing (which is what I'm referring to in "less gay") but no person with testicles should be wearing heels or womens boots or womens clothing. I am way cooler with gay guys who dress what high school would call regular than these flamboyant wierdos who thrive on "being different" and the attention they get for it
bigblue95 0
102 the arguement is society controls everything. and u cant argue with society...u can only manipulate it. which is why i said religion is stupid. its one of the few elements that can manipulate society
CaroAurelia 12
What about heterosexual couples in which one or both of the people are sterile? And elderly couples? They can't reproduce.
FFML_314 12
Learn to embrace your flamboyant nature. Time to buy some pink.
NightSkyx 0
Instead of saying no ****, just say ****
FmyLinNY 0
And when you're talking about football, make sure to call "no hetero".
chippa 24
Well, they can't fire you just because you're straight. That would be discrimination!
WiseGuy79 14
Lmao! That's messed but they can't fire you for being straight
Sun_Kissed18 25
And technically they shouldn't hire you for being gay haha
reptarroars 7
say you're either bi or a big metro sexual should work?
RoccoRox 0
sounds like your stuck between a rock and a hard place.
jonny2x4 0
If the salary is very good, then just go gay-for-pay.
kenjiisown 1
^^^This.
Captain_Derpz 8
Give this man a cookie, goddammit!
Jessi_the_sexii 0
Maybe the boss is just looking for a hot date.
robin00212 9
Good point.
Kawaiichan42 3
They can't fire you for being gay. Anti-discrimination laws protect majorities just as well as they protect minorities. Make sure they know that if they fire you for being straight, you'll sue the hell out of them. Also, if you do decide to tell them you're straight, make sure you don't screw up while you're looking for a better job, one where people don't hire based on sexuality, or do what a couple others have said and tell them you're bi.
Flipflops4ever 0
YDI for acting gay at ur job interview