Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully... - FML

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 675

You deserved it 16 048

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 996

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 034

You deserved it 4 497

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 477

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 785

You deserved it 10 189

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 1 145

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 712

You deserved it 8 002

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 784

You deserved it 19 242

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 962

You deserved it 2 958

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 071

You deserved it 89 564

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 903

You deserved it 631

Next

Top comments

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

stevenmx86 7

Tuesday 12 April 2011 12:51

"love of my life" "fml his penis it's small" Yeah, you're just a shallow ***** op... It wouldn't matter if his penis had gotten cut off if you really loved him..

minktheshrink 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 12:53

one word... oral

Chasted 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 12:59

Screw what other people say I go with this. Sadly this will come up with the competition that would be "How to bring this up without hurting his feelings."

TypoH 7

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:00

that's why you dont date Asian's, leason learned.

berg54 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:10

So? if you in love you'll find a way to make it work and be happy. That's what it's all about. solving problems that is.

slickrasta 1

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:15

You don't love him. Do him a favor and break his heart now, cause you clearly will just cheat on him or something. YDI for actually caring that much about the length of his penis.

ILoveYourDespair 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:16

Its not the size of the boat, its the motion of the ocean.

epmorr2010 9

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:16

male enhancement?

Livinia 11

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:21

Buy a smaller phone? No, but seriously, it's not the size it's what you do with it (;

yuggi1 11

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:23

Eat him like a Popsicle. Mmmm mmm mmm good!

jordanprodigy023 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:24

I jus want to say to these little kids who are saying there penis size. Nobody ccares your most likely lying anyways

Jelly_Bird 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 13:39

i completely agree with jordanprodigy023 you dont see everyone that is older saying their size ... it doesnt matter no one cares...

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The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 132

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 916

The Top

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 063

Today, I need to know whether it's better to be in a relationship in which I'm not loved and have no intimacy, or live on my own with no family or friends. if I were alone though, I could live in my underwear and eat cereal for dinner if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 158

Today, I was in a hurry to pull out all the fence posts around our horse meadow, because the new owner is suddenly kicking us out. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some ground wasps were living at the base of one of those fence posts. No, they were not amused when I started wiggling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 101

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 066

You deserved it 4 084

Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 558

You deserved it 259