Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
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Top comments
Harry_Poochi 0
You should have shown her your package.
pinky0090 0
Should have asked for her number
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Comments (99)
pinky0090 0
Should have asked for her number
B4SK3TB4IL 0
who answers the door with their wang stickin out
22cute 17
I think you should count yourself lucky that the woman has a sense of humor. She could have been offended and slapped you or something.
City_at_war 0
Hey! I know her.
JazzHandsFML 28
how can you know her based on the adjective "attractive" and that she works at Fed ex?
jcscool 0
wow lol
JazzHandsFML 28
such a detailed and descriptive comment about the fml!
Tenor_Sax_Man 0
That's why you fix yourself before you answer the door.
spoo 24
He did IMO.. OP - Attempt Witt... perfect opportunity
Harry_Poochi 0
You should have shown her your package.
Zombierella 2
null_fml 11
Good point. I agree completely.
GreatAwakening 0
Hah.
F00tball_Playa 0
Ur erection was too small?
dramakat11 0
I don't think that's really an FML. Who cares? Most people would laugh just because it's unexpected and awkward, that doesn't mean it's small or anything...
mynameisnotjudie 0
exactly. Who's to say it was because of the size? Most women have the decency not to laugh at a stranger for his "size." Maybe they'd giggle when they get back in the car, but.... who cares? Anyway, I'm almost 100% positive that she laughed because it was an awkward/unexpected situation. Who knows - maybe she has the same thought pattern as #20 and saw the irony of the situation. xD Either way, I'm honestly getting sick of the "I assume she meant that my penis is small, woe-as-me" comments from the guys, and the "My boyfriend must have been serious about that comment and he thinks I'm fat and ugly, boo hoo" comments from the girls. Let us all get over ourselves, k?
StompinOnCrayons 15
Excuse me if I am wrong, but OP's user is little guy.... just saying c;
itschris 0
11th? LOls sike
tyhillman 0
OP, you should have just whipped it out.