I caught DocBastard with his two word comment while he was typing out this long thing^

Or put a dildo in his bag haha.

Good start Doc. But I think a few knives or something deadly hidden in his luggage to get the TSA agents on his ass. "STRIP SEARCH!"

MmI don't think there's any reason to do acts of immaturity. The OP should cut their losses and move on...maturely. No need to stoop to a low level. Be the bigger person. @OP- There's someone out there for you. It stinks, but it's not the end of world. Good luck :)

And OP is still with him because......????????

Wow, Op that sucks. Leave him and lose his number, he's no good for you. Then find yourself a guy that is not a jerk, good luck!

I agree you should already be single because YOU broke up with HIM. also the whole ex thing rarely works out, sucks for him!

Plant a little green leafy surprise in his luggage... Hint hint, nudge nudge ;) 39- yes there is...

104- I was taught to take the high road. I'm not sure what your parents taught you, but there's never a reason to be vindictive and conniving. Stopping to such lows only makes a person look pathetic.

Beeswax containing mini shampoo and 30 feet of metal thread fishing line. Sets off both the metal and bomb detectors. Good for 3 hours with TSA, but not prohibited items that could get you into trouble.

118- he was talking about taking a "high" road haha, pull the dildo out of your ass and lighten up. Oh and also, it's "stooping".

I know it's stopping. Way to point out such an insignificant typo.

118- is this your way of telling me that you took my comment seriously? There is also no need to drag your upbringing into this (or mine for that matter).

Again 118- stooping, didn't you learn your lesson the first time? Grammar nazis are relentless

Wait how do any of you know the bf is going to cheat?

Not cheat, just break up.

Op should be more trusting

Lmfao I love how number 8 has been thumbed into oblivion because he had the nerve to say something unfavorable about the legendary DocBastard. How dare he? Lol

^ He's being thumbed to oblivion because his comment was stupid and irrelevant.

Or. Loaded gun and drugs for TSA to find.

Did he not invite you? I'd say the dead fish thing would be delightful. Maybe even put a knife in there

105 don't act so high and mighty if your partner was going on a vacation without you, with their ex, I'm sure it would bother you. It would bother most people, whether you trust the person or not. The fact that he didn't tell her about anything is sketchy, so why does he deserve her trust? If he was trustworthy, he would have told her.

Kinda crucial to know how long they've been dating, no? If they've been dating 3 days I'd say it's hardly worth discussing but if a month or so then OP should definitely get told.

I was thinking some road flares wired to a clock... George Lopez show.

212 I think you're wrong. No matter how long they've been together, he still should have TOLD her, she's still his girlfriend. Time is irrelevant. Even if they haven't been together long, and he planned this trip before the relationship started, he still should have told her he was going on vacation for a few weeks. But there is just something about the wording of this FML that leads me to believe this is not a 3 day old relationship...idk it's just a feeling. I could be wrong.

Naughty! Meh wikey!! But seriously. What a sleazebag. Only here to state da truth

Wow

You should break up with him before the trip...

Why does OP make being single seem like a bad thing anyway. We loners don't have to deal with douchebags like that. (: Toast to all the single guys and girls out there!

Facebook isn't exactly a hiding place.

Haha no one thumb this up or down please... Mwahahaha!

Assumptions aplenty.

Look, even if they haven't been dating long and he planned this before they met, the courteous thing would be to tell her that he'd planned this trip before they met. But she found out, clearly through a mutual friend's FB status. That the supposed boyfriend didn't think she needed to know he was going on vacation for a few weeks speaks volumes. So she should dump his disrespectful ass immediately.

agreed with a kick to the nuts and a slap in the face :)

^ yay domestic violence! Don't forget the smile! ':)' being violent is fun!

I agree, #3. I don't understand what OP is waiting for. There's an obvious lack of respect and communication. Whatever is good about this relationship is never going to outweigh that. OP, there's nothing worth salvaging. I don't know if you can do better but I'm sure you can't do much worse. You've got nothing here. Move on.

Agreed!

Wow I love the men on this thread. Way to think!

What does that have to do with him going to hawaii with his ex? Nothing.

#17 - THIS IS FML, NOT TWITTER.

Well if you want to be a dick, I hope the girl you end up with is as bad as you. No nice or intelligent girl deserves you my friend. Truthful and proud.

You have no respect for women at all, do you? Makes you think where all the gentlemen in this world have gone.

What does q tip stand for? Penis size? #qtipdick4life?

That must really explain why I've been such an asshole lately. Where can I go to get an extension on my area.

Skoomaki no one respects anyone anymore, you have ladies cheating and committing paternity fraud, there's men sticking their cock in to anything WHILST in a relationship and there are people who beat the shit out of each other in relationships, so for this dude to imply that he's just interested in sex, I don't see any problem, of course if it's all consensual.

Stop ruining a sick mans fun. I want angry people to comment not mediators.

A sick "man" ? Disrespectful twit more like it. ;) and I don't think anyone is angry, we all enjoy a good chuckle at baby penises from time to time.

Yeah me too when ever I look down I laugh too. In fact I'm laughing right now :D

Fine qtip you're on your own pal. 43, you need to work on your shame tactics lol they're quite weak.

That's good happiness is important :) Failed a test? Open up your pants. Car accident? Hello little wee! Girlfriend left you? Ah shit no comfort there. Little wee is the reason she's gone.

45 = forever alone

Your comment made me chuckle a little bit!

#55 - Just go.

I'm not alone, I really am not. I suppose I should take my itty bitty penis somewhere else. Right?

Yes they really are good day to all and thank you for making me reach the peak of my enjoyment :,,,)

4- A-S-S-H-O-L-E That's what you are to me!

61 - I am in fact quite sure that's the only peak of enjoyment you are getting.

I just hung out with Jill so that's not true.

53: how the fuck did you do that? Fucking wizard.

Qtip dick, bahaha, funny ass shit. & as for you qtip...you sound like a very immature little boy. Maybe one day you will become a man, but with the way you talk, I highly doubt it. You obviously do not know how to treat a woman, and that is probably the reason you jerk off with your pinky every lonely night.

How the fuck do you know about my pinky?

I'm suprised "Jill" could even find your non-existent dick. Honestly qtip, if this is what you do to get it up, you just have a very sad life. You seem to enjoy trolling from your mom's basement a little too much. I pity you, not because of your obvious boredom and loneliness, but because of the tough future you will inevitably face. Try not to let growing into a 60 year old virgin get to you, okay?

She knows all.

It surely isn't I am in fact a 14 year old who is sick in bed. Yes I am having so much fun trolling in my bedroom that happens to be up stairs. I hope you know Jill stands for my hand just in FYI.

Where's the mods when we need em?

#78 - Oh you're ill? Well good. The fact you're 14 makes me laugh even more. Oh, here in FML, we crush and decimate any trolls we come into contact with ^.^

I don't feel crushed or decimated.

You will. It's not a quick procedure. It will start with respect being lost, then the thumbing down of all comments good or bad and then you will leave crying. #84 - You explain his intelligence well.

78- That's why I put Jill in quotations dumbfuck. Need a translation? I'm suprised... Wait, do you know what suprised means? Doesn't matter, I'll keep going. I'm suprised your hand... Wait, do you know the difference between you're and your? I doubt it, but I'll continue. I'm suprised your hand could find your dick. Get it qtip dick? Or shall I dumb it down further?

#80 honestly I feel like this is a pretty good accomplishment, how I got 35 replies off of this. Oh they joy that is coming from my 14 year old heart.

#84 I don't think I understood that dumb it down just a little bit more so my underdeveloped 14 year old brain could understand.

Wow. You really are a troll. That's pretty pathetic qtip. Hope you enjoyed yourself, because I'm done. Enjoy wanking for the rest of your life. Show's over guys! No more feeding the troll!

*walks away flipping the bird to qtip*

I am well feed thanks to all the fine people who commented.

Hopefully you'll die from your stomach bursting, spilling it's acidic contents all over your internal organs, guaranteeing a slow, painful death.

I couldn't read that my extremely dyslexic mind can not translate it properly. But what I didn't understand from you other comment you were done, you really care that much to comment back?

You're a troll, sick and dyslexic? Karma's a bitch.

That wasn't me dumbass. That was someone else. And you're being a little hypocritical, no? You obviously cared enough to reply.

Yeah, via Facebook status, should you be confronted state to him that he needs to mind his own business.

Alone, but ready to bone.

Insane and ready to maim. too far? :/

Orange but ready to...damn.

horny and hyper, but not ready for diapers.

Ready to fuck, but no luck.

Unless he looks like Mick Jagger

I got the moves like Jagger.

She already is. Sounds like he just ended it.