By obsequiousfannyflapper - 10/02/2013 23:13 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 078
You deserved it 2 982

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Top comments

Your roommate has presented you the perfect opportunity to pull some master pranks. Use her paranoia to your advantage.

Put iocaine in her drink after building up an immunity to it. Problem solved.

Comments

Your roommate has presented you the perfect opportunity to pull some master pranks. Use her paranoia to your advantage.

shaww 28

pretend to choke during the taste test

OhDearBetrayal 25

I would be careful. The symptoms of schizophrenia include paranoia, which means that if your prank goes over the line she could do something irreversible.

dmoran20 27

Looks like I have a new reason to watch the news every night.

grmnxsensati0n 4

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Lasagnaa 24

Better to be safe than sorry.

Exactly. I didn't mean to encourage anything that could actually hurt her roommate. :-)

When she has you taste a bite, just say "sure, I'll take a bite from THIS part of it."

no - having OCD or anxiety or even paranoia is such an awful thing to go through. Playing on her insecurities which honestly sound crippling is bullying behaviour and cruel. Although you shouldn't have to deal with behaviour like that- so could you talk to your landlord/lady or maybe even talk to the mental health team - and your room mate of course. She sounds like she knows she is being irrational if she is willing to let you eat her food. It is a very damaging and complex ordeal for a person to go through but she can get better. Don't make it worse but do try and help her and in doing so, get her to go to a psychiatric place or somewhere so that she stops being your room-mate because you should not have to deal with these things. Good luck OP and to your room mate too.

and yes she sounds mentally ill (in reply to the person who said she might have Schizophrenia) but unlike the media portrayal, people with Schizophrenia are very rarely "dangerous". No more than people with other forms of mental illness I would say. But do not push her. You don't know her story. Don't put up with her behaviour though - talk to your landlord/county council/ mental health team and get her to move out and get help I would say.

OhDearBetrayal 25

I'm sorry if I implied that she would attack or become violent, what I meant was that she could do something that could be hard to change. She could go into a deep depression or she may even become so fearful of things that she would be able to perform normal everyday tasks.

Revan501 15

Quite the crazy one you got there op.

dmoran20 27

If she grabs a mallet you better run like hell!!!

She might have a crazy room mate, but she'll save a whole lotta money on food now!

"This isn't going to work..."

It's not you, it's me...

13- More like, " It's not me, it's you. You're a crazy fucking bitch."

Put iocaine in her drink after building up an immunity to it. Problem solved.

CharresBarkrey 15

Inconceivable!

#4, exactly the advice I came here to post! It may take quite a few years, OP, but the end result is well worth it.

Or, accidentally give her a lobotomy, and you will end her paranoia, of everything.

As you wish.

streetriots 9

Tell her don't bother unpacking.

perdix 29

So, you're the pre-preprepared meal taster? This is getting into "Inception!"

Oh God! Don't even suggest that! Hollywood will already start making an idiotic sequel. I mean the first Inception was good, but sequels...

perdix 29

First, let's take down the word "preprepared." That's bullshit! There's already a "pre" in "prepare!" We don't need a second one.

Second, the concept of "inception" is to subconsciously give someone an idea, them be unaware of it. It is not to go "something with-in something", that's known as "breaking the fourth wall".

perdix 29

#47, stop making stupid shit up, or I'll ground you until the end of the Gregorian calendar ;)

Id find another roommate.

connerwonner 7

Maybe OP is in a dorm at college. Then she wouldn't be able to find another roomate.

You can always talk to the RA and tell them things aren't working out. Some people just shouldn't have roommates.

RedPillSucks 31

Unfortunately OP may be at the end of a chain of people who rejected the roommate

The insanity is strong with this one.

Family history... And genetic predisposition.

shaww 28

chew the food until she starts eating, then fall on the floor pretending to choke

Hey, free food, can't complain there.

They're roommates, it's not free food I'm sure op has bought the food.