Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
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By
chico86
| 2
Yet another soon to be single mom!
By
bayli
| 12
You must have some pretty magical sperm.
COMMENTS
By
chico86
| 2
Yet another soon to be single mom!
Reply
RussianFox
| 13
I feel worse for the child going to have a cheating scumbag mother.
Reply
Futacy
| 29
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Well Op at least you found out she is a cheater and a dumb one at that.
Reply
akwag09
| 4
18- ur not making sense
Reply
RigPig
| 3
neida r u 37, wut da fuk
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ScaughtieHolden
| 11
RigPig, are you illiterate? What the fuck.
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merryhappy1887
| 20
*neither *are *you *what *the *fuck
Reply
Shrike
| 22
It's pretty obvious RigPig was sarcastically mocking the guy. Holy shit, you two are dense.
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ScaughtieHolden
| 11
I was poking fun at what he said by correcting him. You sir must be dense.
Reply
Shrike
| 22
Sure you were, 60. Don't worry, those awful people thumbing you down may not buy it, but I believe you. :))
But no, seriously, you'd have been better off claiming your sister stole your iPhone and posted that comment to make you look stupid. Come on, at least be amusing with your backtracking.
But no, seriously, you'd have been better off claiming your sister stole your iPhone and posted that comment to make you look stupid. Come on, at least be amusing with your backtracking.
Reply
X_Codes
| 11
Couldn't happen to a nicer person.
Reply
lexi365
| 20
At least OP can move on and find a better and more faithful girlfriend.
Reply
gmc_blossom
| 21
Yeah, if you look at 39's profile it's most obvious he doesn't type like that. 0.o
By
bayli
| 12
You must have some pretty magical sperm.
Reply
Delvins
| 8
Either that or she kept some frozen...
Reply
Thelic
| 3
Or really good aim over extreme distances. Maybe you should be a sniper, I know you have a target in mind.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
His sperm has quantum tachyons and was able to leap forward into the future to impregnate her.
Too nerdy?
Too nerdy?
Reply
Thelic
| 3
To 52- Yes, alittle to nerdy. But I have to give props though, very creative in a Star Trek nerdy way :)
Reply
JulietRose
| 10
(in tone of gangnam style)
Ayyy that's your baby!
Nope nope nope nope
Ayyy that's your baby!
Nope nope nope nope
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
Or, OP could be Satan and the poor wretch is giving birth to Antichrist.
Reply
jillybee101
| 7
Hail Satan
Reply
goldfish78
| 11
Skype sex works
Reply
wtfjess
| 10
68
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
Nope that's not your child!
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
Nope that's not your child!
Reply
gc327072
| 29
68- broken condom style!
Reply
Ugi
| 26
82 - that may be true on some levels but for conceiving children I'm afraid it's not terribly effective.
By
Pyapi
| 20
Not the best with numbers, is she?
Reply
Thelic
| 3
OP's GF: 1,2,3,7... Isn't that how it goes?
Reply
domking1315
| 20
Even though he's new im kinda liking this guy^
Reply
MalloryKnox
| 8
Darn those pesky numbers! Guess she's not the best with the whole being faithful thing either...
Reply
TorturedXeno
| 27
OP, do yourself a favor and try to get a paternity test to prove the kid isn't yours. That way she can't screw you out of child support money that you don't owe her.
Reply
S182
| 15
If he wasn't physically there, I don't think she is going to have much of a case to sue for support....
Reply
AKGirlinSD
| 20
Adding to 108's comment, the Original Poster can get the test done (I believe) 12 weeks into the pregnancy. OP, I highly you suggest you get the test done now instead of your lady friend trying to persuade you that you're the daddy!
By
highway_unicorn7
| 5
Time for another vacation!
Reply
amandajlucas2015
| 2
I don't think he was just on a vacation that took 7 months lol and for ur sake I hope u were atleast trying to keep in touch with ur girlfriend while u were away doing whatever.. I'm assuming military.. But it could be some other job related.. But if she hadn't even heard from u in 7 months not one word then she might have thought u ha forgotten about her and moved on.. Then u just decided to show up again one day and surprised her so that was the first thing she could think of was to say "oh we're pregnant!" when what she was really thinkin was "wtf are u doin here".. And if u did keep in touch with her then shame on her!:)
Reply
eggmarie
| 25
Have you people ever heard of a long distance relationship?
By
ohrlly7457
| 7
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
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KML92
| 5
Dumbest sentence I've read on FML all day.
Reply
C19_fml
| 9
The irony in this sentence is killing me.
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DontThumbMeDown
| 8
My brain cells are committing suicide one by one after reading 5's comment.
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vintage3113
| 6
Hahaha this is so retarded it's just funny
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agonydrum
| 7
Maybe 5 is trying to be ironic?
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BigBoyBounce
| 5
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around she is si stupid. How can someone be yes stupid?
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djgoreo
| 12
That's actually "if". yes is sí with an accent. GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STUDY
Reply
MiiszRonRon
| 6
I would say they meant so not si...
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tyrecius
| 4
Never reproduce.
Reply
green2go
| 14
Or it could be referring the a&e show duck dynasty
Reply
BigBoyBounce
| 5
Sorry 86 i took french in middle school and italian in high school. I'm no expert when it comes to spanish.
Reply
FMLKitten
| 15
My brain just went on strike.
Thanks, #5.
Thanks, #5.
Reply
YUNOLIKE
| 6
This post gave me cancer
By
sk8_king
| 23
in the voice of maury......you are not the father
Reply
ProfessionalTrol_fml
| 14
6- Best show ever. Makes you feel better about your relationships
Reply
nyrangers9924
| 0
That comment made my day hahahaha
By
hellaflushfa5
| 6
Run far far away!
Reply
flutter4
| 7
The dumb bitch deserves to be a single mom but I do feel sorry for the kid
By
williamcarter93
| 13
I think she remembers. Maybe she's one of these people who think the man won't remember so if their on-the-side relationship doesn't work they will have a man to fall back on. Show her she's wrong.
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Metallica36176
| 16
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
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Lehk
| 9
don't mention anything right away, wait until after the kid is born to demand a dna test and leave her cheating ass.
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happle
| 21
131- Why would he stick around any longer?
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noelykins1
| 19
For some reason this FML happens a lot. These women ruin relationships for the rest of us -.-
By
1happymummy
| 14
I dont know what's worse, her not fessing up to obviously having cheated or the fact that she's stupid enough to think you can't work out the maths.
By
Schizomaniac
| 24
Congratulations! Wait, how can she be 4 months pregnant if...
Oh. Well...damn.
Oh. Well...damn.
Reply
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
Hey it's like the tortoise and the hare, except the sperm fell asleep for a few months and still won, right?