By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 025
You deserved it 2 588

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chico86 2

Yet another soon to be single mom!

You must have some pretty magical sperm.


chico86 2

Yet another soon to be single mom!

I feel worse for the child going to have a cheating scumbag mother.

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Well Op at least you found out she is a cheater and a dumb one at that.

akwag09 4

18- ur not making sense

neida r u 37, wut da fuk

RigPig, are you illiterate? What the fuck.

merryhappy1887 20

*neither *are *you *what *the *fuck

It's pretty obvious RigPig was sarcastically mocking the guy. Holy shit, you two are dense.

I was poking fun at what he said by correcting him. You sir must be dense.

Sure you were, 60. Don't worry, those awful people thumbing you down may not buy it, but I believe you. :)) But no, seriously, you'd have been better off claiming your sister stole your iPhone and posted that comment to make you look stupid. Come on, at least be amusing with your backtracking.

X_Codes 11

Couldn't happen to a nicer person.

lexi365 20

At least OP can move on and find a better and more faithful girlfriend.

gmc_blossom 21

Yeah, if you look at 39's profile it's most obvious he doesn't type like that. 0.o

You must have some pretty magical sperm.

Either that or she kept some frozen...

Or really good aim over extreme distances. Maybe you should be a sniper, I know you have a target in mind.

RedPillSucks 31

His sperm has quantum tachyons and was able to leap forward into the future to impregnate her. Too nerdy?

To 52- Yes, alittle to nerdy. But I have to give props though, very creative in a Star Trek nerdy way :)

JulietRose 10

(in tone of gangnam style) Ayyy that's your baby! Nope nope nope nope

Or, OP could be Satan and the poor wretch is giving birth to Antichrist.

jillybee101 7

Hail Satan

goldfish78 11

Skype sex works

68 Nope, nope, nope, nope. Nope that's not your child!

68- broken condom style!

82 - that may be true on some levels but for conceiving children I'm afraid it's not terribly effective.

Not the best with numbers, is she?

OP's GF: 1,2,3,7... Isn't that how it goes?

Even though he's new im kinda liking this guy^

MalloryKnox 8

Darn those pesky numbers! Guess she's not the best with the whole being faithful thing either...

TorturedXeno 27

OP, do yourself a favor and try to get a paternity test to prove the kid isn't yours. That way she can't screw you out of child support money that you don't owe her.

If he wasn't physically there, I don't think she is going to have much of a case to sue for support....

Adding to 108's comment, the Original Poster can get the test done (I believe) 12 weeks into the pregnancy. OP, I highly you suggest you get the test done now instead of your lady friend trying to persuade you that you're the daddy!

Time for another vacation!

amandajlucas2015 2

I don't think he was just on a vacation that took 7 months lol and for ur sake I hope u were atleast trying to keep in touch with ur girlfriend while u were away doing whatever.. I'm assuming military.. But it could be some other job related.. But if she hadn't even heard from u in 7 months not one word then she might have thought u ha forgotten about her and moved on.. Then u just decided to show up again one day and surprised her so that was the first thing she could think of was to say "oh we're pregnant!" when what she was really thinkin was "wtf are u doin here".. And if u did keep in touch with her then shame on her!:)

Have you people ever heard of a long distance relationship?

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Dumbest sentence I've read on FML all day.

The irony in this sentence is killing me.

My brain cells are committing suicide one by one after reading 5's comment.

Hahaha this is so retarded it's just funny

agonydrum 7

Maybe 5 is trying to be ironic?

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around she is si stupid. How can someone be yes stupid?

That's actually "if". yes is sí with an accent. GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STUDY

I would say they meant so not si...

Never reproduce.

Or it could be referring the a&e show duck dynasty

Sorry 86 i took french in middle school and italian in high school. I'm no expert when it comes to spanish.

My brain just went on strike. Thanks, #5.


This post gave me cancer

in the voice of are not the father

6- Best show ever. Makes you feel better about your relationships

nyrangers9924 0

That comment made my day hahahaha

Run far far away!

flutter4 7

The dumb bitch deserves to be a single mom but I do feel sorry for the kid

I think she remembers. Maybe she's one of these people who think the man won't remember so if their on-the-side relationship doesn't work they will have a man to fall back on. Show her she's wrong.

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don't mention anything right away, wait until after the kid is born to demand a dna test and leave her cheating ass.

131- Why would he stick around any longer?

noelykins1 19

For some reason this FML happens a lot. These women ruin relationships for the rest of us -.-

I dont know what's worse, her not fessing up to obviously having cheated or the fact that she's stupid enough to think you can't work out the maths.

Schizomaniac 24

Congratulations! Wait, how can she be 4 months pregnant if... Oh. Well...damn.

Hey it's like the tortoise and the hare, except the sperm fell asleep for a few months and still won, right?