By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 063
You deserved it 2 591
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Top comments

chico86 2

Yet another soon to be single mom!

524 10
bayli 12

You must have some pretty magical sperm.

503 5

Comments

nanpooo 6

"yes my dear, I do feel your excitement for this, but must I remember you we haven't fornicated in 7 months?" I can only imagine how well this went.

62 4
CallMeMcFeelii 13

That's good news in a way. I'm guessing you're not ready to be a father. At least you're free to get out that situation. To bad that had to happen though..

6 31
GothicAngel17 24

He's probably not ready to be a father because, oh I don't know, he's not a father? He needs to kick that cheating bitch to the curb.

22 2
CallMeMcFeelii 13

Obviously he's not a father, and perhaps he's not ready to be one either. That is why I said at least he can get out of that situation. If it was his he wouldn't be so lucky now would he. Did I explain that simple enough for you or do you need further information?

1 13
Futacy 29

Bitches ain't nothin' but tricks and hoes.

24 48
CallMeMcFeelii 13

13 Do you mean bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks? I don't agree with what ya said I just thought that's the phrase you meant to say.

19 0
seriouslythat 6

13 would you care to rephrase that in English instead of ghetto?

4 21
Futacy 29

46- Oh my gawsh! I was just quoting rap lyrics, no need to publicly execute me.

9 21
RedPillSucks 31

No problem. We'll do it in private where there wont be any witnesses.

22 2
lilhellian 26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
0 22
CallMeMcFeelii 13

It's ok, futacy, my comment got thumbed down as well. But at least we always have each other ;). Haha.

0 8
vbmg152 18

Better teach her how to count! If she insists, get a DNA test & you'll be in the clear. Don't sign anything without legal advice!

17 5
jjmiller1001 17

wow, thats gatta be that new math i keep hearing about

8 11
ruthlessmofo 0

Bro...if you haven't seen her in seven months I'm sorry but I don't think it was gonna work out anyways.

10 9
redbandit9877 12

He could be in the military on deployment or something, I think that is a pretty valid reason

17 0
celiiceegee 6

In my opinion it'd suck even more if he's in the military..

17 2
laurennngarciaa 0

Not seeing her for 7 months doesnt mean anything. My boyfriend and i live in seperate states and he'll be in the military soon.

4 1
MzMegs 20

So, what? Long-distance relationships never work out? 7 months is less than a year, and have you ever noticed how quickly years fly by?

4 0
Welshite 39

At least she thinks you'll be an awesome father, so there's always that.

6 14
kalbrek009 20

Yeah 25, but just wait til she denies that she's the mother.(I'm waiting for her FML on that one) Doesn't matter who she thinks "would be a good/great father"...she's an unfaithful, self serving, stuck on herself idiot & a cheater!

7 0
kitkatkit 4

An awesome father as opposed to who? The real father? Yep that's probably how she thought that would go.

3 0
lolipop1234_fml 7

Next she will try tell you it was an immaculate conception.

22 0
Kallian_fml 21

Is your girlfriend a scorpion? I hear they can store sperm in their bodies for months at a time. Whatever you do though, don't try to drown her.

29 2
XxQueenofPuppets 10

Bearded dragons also have this ability, as do cats and many other animals. Congrats OP on marrying an animal-related superhero!

4 9
mercymedical 6

I see you pay attention. ^_^

0 1