Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chico86 2
Yet another soon to be single mom!
bayli 12
You must have some pretty magical sperm.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (184)
msjoyfull84 0
For once it makes sense, dump the bitch....
cool_story_bro14 4
Surprise!
jaguar45b 7
The math isn't working out there
asherm 15
I hope the kid doesn't get her brains. Sorry OP
marquez_jasmine 6
I think that she texted the wrong person. Actually meaning to text her current boyfriend, possibly on purpose to make him jealous ? He just took out that part to make this FML more interesting
Mearemoi 14
Who said she texted it?
marquez_jasmine 6
Oh my bad, haha I swear I thought it said she texted him. It's still a possibility though
kalbrek009 20
110, that would only make sense if YOU are the girl he's fmling about.....and while yes, possible....no, highly unlikely.
TADspace 30
Maybe she had your fap tissue. Or you both sat on the same toilet. Because.... you know, that's how you can get pregnant.
Ronald87 7
Go to Jerry springer when she gives birth!
KiddNYC1O 22
Slick. Don't let her lure you in like that...
TcheQ 12
Wanted to YDI for choosing a dumbass scumbag girlfriend, but I really don't think you're at fault.
etchsanity1 11
Sounds like my whorey ex :)