damn xD

lmfao that's messed up

omg wow that is totally wrong..

hmm, wouldn't you be able to realize it earlier?

That sounds delicious :) you're so lucky!

At least she isn't only giving you oil and butter. Unless you're into that.

Did you ever wonder why your steak was always being deep fried in butter? You should start slipping laxatives in her food and say u just wanted her to be skinnier.

53.. I had to start a new account because my other one got permanently banned lol.. and I'm trying to put my old pic up but I gotta find it..

you mean lhfao

the only reason why she wants you to be fatter then her is because she is jealous of you, which makes no sense but that tension and feeling is jealousy. I don't understand why some mothers are jealous of their children....

wtf snow whites step mother much.

well my father frequently punches me in the nuts to prevent me from being more manly than him, so i ttly feel ur pain OP

That can cause a lot of problems and is abusive...

where's your brother hansel?

sucks to suck

sucks to suck

98 it's more like hansel and gretel. haha nice try though(:

139, Well, I wasn't referring to the physical side of it if that's what you mean, rather metaphorically reffering to the desire to be more beautiful and 'thin' than ones offspring as inhibited by OP's mother, which I found strikingly resembled the desire held by the evil step-mother in Snow white, known to be a a bitch for hating her daughter for stealing her beauty and basking in the limelight.

81- you are so right I f-ing hate it when parents are like that it makes me mad because the kid didn't do anything wrong but be her/himself and the parent just hates the child because of that it's f-ing messed up...

haha now thats what I'm saying!

in mother Russia, mother eats you.

OP common it's 21st century , obv everything is possible, and yes even a mother who wants bad things 4 her kids -.-

162 - The joke usually involves the former Soviet Union, and is stated at the beggining of the joke, if you want to call it that, because it's not even funny... IDK, I'm bitter right now.

Well my dad slips steroids in my food just so he can Bragg about me. How haven't I noticed?....shut up

snow white eh?

Soviet Russia jokes aren't funny anymore.

I always thought Russian Inversions were funny, but generation Y ruined them like they fucking ruined everything else.

Correct: In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party finds you.

Incorrect: IN SOVIET RUSIA CAR DRIVES YOU LOLOL

I absolutely agree. What has the world come to...?

That sux
Third

Niiiice

that's when you run away.

I imagine she has gotten quite slow, running might also lead to heart failure in her current condition.

that's horrible... my momma does cause she loves me

Yes, run away because your mom probably intends to cook and eat you after you get fat.

its easier to run..... oh wait not when uhave a car!

his name is Hansel

his brothers name is Grettle.

Grettel was the sister not the brother. Sheesh

Sounds made up.

I wasn't referring to the FML being made up btw

how did this comment get blocked??

Time to start cooking your own meals!

Or look into adoption

adoption sounds much more reasonable.

she's fattening you up so you can be cooked with butter

and is she your mother or is she the wicked witch of the west... just saying

Yup!!

big guys need love too

Except OP is female.

she's saying that the op will be fat and have to date a big guy. (or a black man)

lmfao! the black man comment is perfect hahahah!! oh gawd C':

Yeah, I'm skinny but love big girls :)

it's not being shallow.Attraction is attraction we can't help it, quit flaming tubby lumpkins

Not all big girls are ugly. P.S. I married a gorgeous skinny man ;-)

moron

But you are one. Seriously. You don't think men date fat girls?
My brother used to be one of the best runners in the country in his age group (as in top 3), yet he dates a chubby girl. And they love each other.You make it sound like fat girls never get laid. To quote Forrest Gump's most famous line ever: Well they do.

racist..

wtf

yeah, it doesn't make any sense •_o

She's jealous.

Oh really now?

No shit Sherlock!

I'm sorry, but WTF is wrong with that woman? O_O

Well she lost her turkey during thanksgiving and you were the likely replacement. just wait till she starts basting you in butter and trying to stuff stuffing up your ass

lmao stuffing

LMAO dude, great comment