Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I got home from a hard day and sent a project due tomorrow from my laptop. While I was in the bathroom, my parents took my laptop, which is all paid by me for no reason. I tried telling them multiple times that I have 3 projects due this week, but they said that's not a reason to stay on my laptop. FML
Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML
Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
You should change you experiment to show how parents can go from zero to full retardation in about an hour. Will Smith had it right. Parents just don't understand.
DGross 8
wow... that sounds rather excessive for a little weed... Get it... because it wasn't marijuana I meant weed as it... nvm I'm going to lay of the bad puns for a while :-P
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Comments (205)
fisheatsbear 6
pot head
yake12 0
lol I read this and I was like this guy is definatley from Canada :) lol fyl buddy (btw I'm from Canada too :)
VanessaVander 2
that sucks fyl
silvermoonstar3 3
not a pot head. I misread it the first time too, but it says they THOUGHT it was a pot plant, implying that it was NOT a pot plant.
jlheinjus 0
sneak around your house, grab all the stuff your parents took and dump it at a friends house then in the morning before they get up, grab your plant and hide it down the street somewhere then after school wave that A in their faces and demand all your stuff back, when they say they can't find it throw a fit and call them thieves, after a week they should feel sorry for you and you'll be given new stuff.
woofis 0
I hate familly injustices, here's what you do. go into class tommorow and tell your story, then call your mom and ask her to bring in this plant and if she doesn't beleive you, have your teacher talk to her. then she will have to bring this plant in front of the whole class and have the whole class laugh at her.
flufffypants 0
Your on FML how?
Urix410 0
YDI for not having a pot plant
the_holy_one 0
You must have been like O_________________O And if it really isn't a marijuana plant then just prove it to your parents so that they give you your stuff back. It's not so hard..
fisheatsbear 6
@25 i didn't missread it.
Melly14398 0
What I want to know is how you are writing on FML if they took your laptop
gregsdaman 0
haha u just proved the lie!!!
Tranceluvr69 0
not only does he not have a laptop but he also doesn't have Internet
Pandacharm 0
idk that he's lying my parents used to ground ne and take my shit... but then give my phone back and car keys when 1. they wanted food.... and wanted me to go get it. 2. when I left for school .. also keep in mind fml usually has to be formatted Today, then ending with FML or mods don't put it in.. do maybe this happend in the past. but was written in presant tense!
ReyEr9412 0
But if the OP has Internet access (I figure he does since he posted this) just google it and prove them wrong.
thehelenlouiseee 5
he could have posted it at school or used a friends iPod or something...
jasonsaied 1
hahahahaha 45
xocourtxo 0
I hate that how people think just because your from Canada.... were all pottheads? that's ****** u hate that
fawfulster 11
#31 ^This. Even if the FML happened two weeks ago, you can still try to do that.
Xuphra 0
Your parents ******* sucks for not discussing things with you FYL.
saywaturcoco 0
hey dude thanks for the weed nd all that shit!!! jks p.s I'm from Canada as well
Brontesky91 0
I'm sure he might know someone with a computer..
hastaperi 0
Kayys, your parents must not have much experience... If they mistake a normal house plant for a pot plant. Seriously. What do you guys live on?
Bagel09 11
Ahhhh Phones, Itouches, Iphones????? More then one computer. It's the 20 century....shouldn't be a shocker.
Poke_Her_Face_fml 0
no cell phone?
ReyEr9412 0
So he couldn't show his parents with an itouch? Or print it out from a computer at school? I didn't think it was neccissary to include this in my original comment.
cuntwaffle 0
find it and smoke it anyway
likewhoaitisbryo 0
how are u telling this to us if u have no laptop a**hole
cuntwaffle 0
^ someone needs a smoke
Rapture333 0
LOL this is the funniest ****** thing I've ever seen
Philosophic 0
I agree with 31 because she must pay for her actions... Muhahahahah!
Philosophic 0
The same way I usually access FML, an iPod maybe?
Killah_Jay 0
So how are you on FML?
shiznutmuffin 0
#61 you can get FML on an ipod touch or iphone
Melly14398 0
I know you can get FML on the iPhone because that's how I go on here but I was trying to point out ( which I couldn't cuz half of my comment got erased) that if she did have a laptop or a phone how could she be on FML seeing how if she did indeed have an iPhone or iPod, wouldn't her parents take that away also??!! I guess this could be from weeks ago or whatever but still... i'm allowed to wonder!!!
megissocool 0
oh, parents. always assuming things....
laceydanae21 0
they can post it from their phone.. that wasnt taken. duhh.
Bamfy 0
am I allowed to wonder if I can has sex wiff you? ;D
Riverweasel 1
its quite obvious that a person could easily go to a friend's house or a library or some of the many places where one can find a public computer and post this. stupid dumbass, look outside the box that you hide in. Not everyone who posts on this site is lying.
bobby3130 0
sooo was it pot? cuz they prob took it for themselves
i_heart_boobies 0
smart ;)
piggybits 14
And then when his parents find out what he did everyone will all hug and have a good laugh right? -_-
funnyman95 0
BOO!!!
AndreaHaha 0
Jee; that sucks I need two things my phone
MF12 0
Nice counting.
AndreaHaha 0
I put my phone and my car keys but Im on from my iPod touch
AndreaHaha 0
and it's ******* up ):
XQuartzX 15
And no one cares why.
DGross 8
wow... that sounds rather excessive for a little weed... Get it... because it wasn't marijuana I meant weed as it... nvm I'm going to lay of the bad puns for a while :-P
gymtanlaundry 0
lmfaaaaaooo, ahahaah. winnnn ! i got it :)
heykelsey 0
FIRST OFF, tell them you will give 'em a discount if they hand it over. second; what was this mystery plant that made it look like a marijuana plant?
fisheatsbear 6
you lose
funnyman95 0
More like "FOURTH off"
heykelsey 0
fail on my part. nicely done.
Sun_Kissed18 25
I doubt it even looked like a pot plant. Her parents seem extremely paranoid so they probably just took a regular looking plant and said it was pot because all teens are drugies apparently
Monikabug 9
DGross's bad puns ftw. :)
saywaturcoco 0
@33 u holing a snake?
Felendris 0
45 ftw xD
GoddessDigi 12
Did you try telling them it was a science project? (I'm betting so.) Well, try explaining to your teacher. And if he/she doesn't believe you..well, you're screwed. If so, ask for a note, and then milk this for all it's worth. I'd ask for a bigger TV if I were you. :D
unfortunate_13 5
maybe he should have said this BEFORE they found it out. the only possible reason why this could have happened is because he never communicates anything to his parents and he constantly locks himself up in his room. so I say YDI for not talking to your parents. (snickerdoodles, you may find some mistakes in this post, but I'm not a native english speaker)
boatkicker 4
Some parents don't want to talk. They ignore, and then they shout. Then they ignore again.
GoddessDigi 12
Yeah. As I said, I'm assuming he probably did try and explain. But as boatkicker said, some people just don't listen. Not just parents, but when anyone thinks they're 100% right and someone is just trying to lie to them, what do they do? Ignore it.
GoddessDigi 12
Oohh, I reread that. You meant before they even found out about the plant, correct? In that case- I hardly every spoke to my mum about school. She worked a lot, and when she was off, she'd rather just do fun things with me than talk about boring crap. School conversations would go like this, "Still making good grades?" "Yes, mum." "Good. So, where do you wanna go today?" If his parents work (most likely) they probably don't get to talk much, as it is.
VoodooGypsy 2
I want to know how they don't really know what a marijuana plant looks like. I don't know a single person who doesn't know. maybe it's just because where I live but I thought it was common 21st century knowledge.
youradhere 0
did they smoke it too?
jenna_rae 0
if they took away everything, how r u on this website?
cantfightfate 0
lol! I mean why wouldn't your parents know you have a project? they probably had to buy the supplies...
KurouTenshi 0
So the plants gone...but you can still smoke it right? after the presentation? Oh right, it's gone... Well just google up fast growing plants on your compu--oh, right you can't... Well maybe if you ju--oh... wait, WTF are you doing on FML?! Get to working on a solution! D:
fisheatsbear 6
better yet, how is he on fml?
KurouTenshi 0
phone I bet :D
fisheatsbear 6
ok. i thought they wouldve took that too.
KurouTenshi 0
apparently his life isnt completely ******.
bibobobonnor 8
he didn't plan on smoking it
HeroOfHyrule 0
What? He can't smoke it. It says right in the post that his parents thought it was a weed plant, but it wasn't.
GoddessDigi 12
Well, not everyone's seen a pot plant in their life. If it remotely looks anything like it's portrayed on TV, a person will just assume. And assuming makes an ass of u and me.
tastycat 0
Assuming makes an ass out of U and Ming.
idkweird 0
God damn MING! Always trying to make an ass out of me!
GoddessDigi 12
Oh fine, let's be all correct. To assume makes an ass out of u and me. Are ya happy now?! xD
maskedman 9
You should change you experiment to show how parents can go from zero to full retardation in about an hour. Will Smith had it right. Parents just don't understand.