Intimacy: Dodge that bullet

Dodge that bullet

By e11ie - 27/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said, "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months, and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 026

You deserved it 3 127

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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 553

You deserved it 1 519

By ananomus - 22/08/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 216

You deserved it 5 922

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 022

You deserved it 3 406

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 954

You deserved it 21 342

Ouch

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 933

You deserved it 6 294

By sunny_ca559 - 03/03/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 629

You deserved it 4 121

By wmkaz - 21/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 5 036

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 523

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 871

You deserved it 592

darkmis1 17

Monday 28 September 2009 1:45

woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...

MiniatureMayhem 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:54

Somebody's hungry!

Comments

darkmis1 17

Monday 28 September 2009 1:45

woooooow! he's in a bit of a hurry...

randomdude1234 0

Wednesday 28 April 2010 22:49

Op is obviously flat chested and he wants them to swell up with milk so they won't be A- cups anymore

vonne 0

Monday 11 April 2011 5:16

totally agree too early don't ya think...I'd be careful if I were u.

DarksideDoll 31

Sunday 7 December 2014 7:52

To be fair, he could have no yearning for kids, it could just be his little fetish. Unfortunately for him, if that's the case, it's a package deal.

cuzirock132 0

Monday 28 September 2009 1:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Friday 10 September 2010 6:15

he also looked at her hands and said I can't wait 4 these 2 make me a damn sammich

alexgisforme3 0

Monday 28 September 2009 1:52

WTF LOL

IAmTheCamel 0

Monday 28 September 2009 1:53

that's not weird lol

MicMic_fml 7

Monday 11 July 2011 18:23

Cuz that'd mean they can save up on milk money..

justmyluck1212 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:05

um wtf ew is that supposed to be sexy?

NamesIncognita 15

Friday 20 November 2015 16:35

some guys find it sexy...and I hate it

YDIBITCHES 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:10

Sixth

moonlit_manga 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:33

wow. he's in a hurry and abit nasty.....lol wow. AWK-waaaarrrrrddddd fyl

doubleAbattery 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:34

Um, well, I..uh. I have no idea what to say to that. That's really weird. Yeah.

MiniatureMayhem 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:54

Somebody's hungry!

urlifemaysuk 0

Monday 28 September 2009 3:00

two syllables KIN-KY lmao but really that's disgusting kinda idc really it's a whatever situation but I'm a guy why would anyone want he's girlfrieds boobs to... you know what just no....